I don't think you are crazy for thinking that way, I think everyone who comes out has these kinds of thoughts about various topics. With the bullies, its kinda funny, we had a guy at school everyone knew was gay, n the bullies went at him too. Finally he just came out and said "Okay yes I am gay, so what?" he didn't get harassed any longer after that. It wasn't any fun for the bullies anymore. I can't say it will happen this way in all cases but they want to get a rise out of you, if you came out then they won't and either have to find something else or just stop. As for the gay stereotype, its the media that perpetuates that not you. Just be you and be happy being you :D

I don't think you're crazy...I think we all have these fears. The fear of rejection is a normal human fear. A friend told me to just take "baby-steps" about coming out and being part of the gay community. Just "pick your own spots". For example....I'm an introvert. So, I won't be going to wild and crazy dance parties during Pride Week, but I will go to the church service and a couple of the Human Rights Forums. It's whatever you would normally want to do no matter what your orientation is. I also frequent businesses in the districts that house a gay population and am seen in cafes and patios. This gives me a sense of "community" without any inappropriate complications. This works for me but I'm a lot older and don't feel the peer pressure that others have upon them. Blessings to you.

I agree with the other two, everyone has a specific fear that is worse than the other fears we have about coming out. I didn't worry about the "I knew it" comment as such, but I did hate to hear "I've known that for years", or "what the hell took you so long to figure that out". Which is almost the same as "I knew it", but just different words. I hated to feel like I had been a failure at hiding my sexuality, and that I was so feminine, that it was impossible to hide it.

When I was about 17, I saw a video of a friends birthday party, and I saw how feminine I am, and I immediately knew why every one just assumed I was gay. I also saw that I was so feminine that it is impossible to hide my sexuality. Which that was my biggest fear, is meeting someone and having them just assume I was gay, because I am so feminine. That is something that can not be changed no matter how hard you try.

i went through the exact same thing ... making the first step and telling your family is always the hardest but thrust me things do start to fall into place after that... it may take time for people to accept or even acknowledge it but its way better then living with a massive burden on your shoulders

I have the opposite problem. No one ever believes I'm gay because I'm way too "straight looking".

when I came out to my friends they said they already knew it and that's nothing something that they were not aware of...they were not actually waiting for me to say it...only some of them did..unfortnately there are people who are gonna say just that "I knew it' I understand the fear...I think coming out as Gay, Lesbian and Transgender is harder to a certain degree than coming out as bi...(that's just me, no hard feelings) yes people are gonna assume that u are gay because of how u dress...they did the same to me as well...Just coz I don't carry a purse, have short hair, wear a shirt / slacks and no make up...well I have always been that way since i was a kid and knew I was different than my sister...I didn't have the courage to say it then and it took me over 32 years to come out...
In your case, whatever the end result is as long as u can say your truth and be okay with it, that wat counts, people may or may accept, people may or may not come around...but atleast u know u can breathe free...we are so worried about what other people will think that we forget to live our own truth...let that not be u...I allowed that to happen and speaking from personal experience, it was a torture to the maximum...

I have just lately become concerned that some friends (not close) from church suspect something. I'm not "out" yet but am fearful of being "outed" by careless remarks, gossip, etc. My dress/appearance/and manner is asexual but I have accepted the fact that I am a lesbian. I have considered leaving the current church in my neighborhood and joining an openly gay church 40 mins away which may be more comfortable for me. My age makes the "club scene" out of the question. I went to a support group for folks who are trying to come out or who have only been out a short time but felt uncomfortable because there were only myself and one young girl in the group. The other 15 were men. We left at the half-way mark & went for coffee. Unfortunately, the age difference meant we had little in common. The "Women's Group" meets at 8pm but that's too late for me as I have a 90 min bus ride home after and wouldn't get home till 11pm or so. Did discover in he community centre flyer hat there is a book club for women over 50, in the afternoons, once a month. Will try that out as it appeals to me.Hoping to connect with like-minded women my own age.
These message boards have been all I have for now.

Hey there, seems like I'm late to the party! I'm in the same situation as you. I've pretty much accepted my sexuality (I'm a bi woman who prefers women) and have started coming out to some more people in my life recently. Only my ex (a guy) and a few close friends knew. I recently left my ex and I feel liberated, it wasn't the best relationship and we were together for 9 years.

So, at this point I feel like I have a fresh start on life. I'd like to be completely out, or atleast out to my parents, step parents and my closest uncle. My mum (who is the most important person in the world to me) has said before that bisexuals are opporotunistic and would have sex with anyone. Not true, straight and gay people have standards, why wouldn't bisexuals? My uncle thinks bisexuals have mental issues and they're unstable. I'd like to come out and explain to them the error of their ways, but I fear the risk of rejection or backlash that may come with it.

I too fear the I knew it for the same reasons as you. Knowing the last 12 years that I'm bisexual and trying to hide it for no good reason would be harsh. I've spent so long worrying and working on trying to hide my true feelings, all for nothing.

I'm also afraid of perpetuating stereotypes. I don't wear make up, I dress a bit more masculine (jeans, tee/tanktop, sneakers, never a skirt or high heels), I work unloading trucks in retail (no other girls have this job at my store, nor at the other couple local outlets), have short hair and other things. Not every girl that shares these same attributes digs girls. I also don't want to perpetuate them because some girls with these things in common with me could still be in the closet, leading them to be judged or picked on.

If you're crazy for having those fears, I'm crazy too. You aren't alone!