Coming Out Support Group

This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men and lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.

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Coming out.... Still haven't come out to people...

MackenzieandKate
MackenzieandKate

So I have a girl fiancee. She's really amazing. I love her like crazy. I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with her. At the beginning of this school year, we had been arguing about almost everything, but now, we haven't argued once. I have told my parents about my girl and I but they don't want to think that I'm lesbian because I have been with guys up until I went to college in Cambridge, MA almost two years ago. I want to tell my parents that I'm full on lesbian but I don't want them to be disappointed in me because I'm not the same girl they raised. I'm only nineteen years old and I'm going to school for a certificate and looking for jobs and applying to the jobs that I would want. I just really don't want to disappoint my parents when I tell them that I'm going to get married to my girl fiancee. I'm not going to break up with my fiancee just to please my parents. I just don't know what to do about telling them about me being full on lesbian.

CYCLONE
CYCLONE
Hello there and congratulations on the happiness with your girlfriend. How exciting that must be for you two!!!! You have to do what is right for you and what makes you happy. You have a lot going on right now with looking for jobs and trying to please your parents ~ that must be so hard. Good luck with everything and let me know how it all works out for you!!!!!
WyndWytch
WyndWytch
Why tell them? Here's the thing. Human sexuality is a very long and large sliding scale. Fact of the matter does the label even matter. You love her, simply say you are engaged to her and leave it at that. Whether you are bi, pan, les, none of those labels mean squat. So why bother telling them anything about your sexuality? what you do in your bedroom is your business, the only thing they have to deal with is your fiancée you will be bringing around, not bedroom time. Just tell them you are engaged and let them take that for what they want to make it as far as your sexuality.
marilyndawn77
marilyndawn77
Aahhh, the voice of reason, WyndWytch!! I was going to say the same thing. I don't have the exact same issues as our young friend but, I'm not about to go around telling the World about my sexual preferences because as you say, they are fluid and vary from situation to situation. I've also got many friends who aren't "welcoming" to those who are unlike themselves. Not saying much to, say, the ladies at church or the straight communities, suits me just fine. You are so right; don't stick any sort of label on yourself....just be who you are. Less said, the better.