Coming Out Support Group
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I am not writing b/c of issues im having with coming out about my sexuality, rather my religion (or lack of religion)
I have recently lost my faith in religion. my long-time boyfriend is an atheist, and up until about a year ago, I was a Christian. I didn't grow up in a particularly religious family, but it was understood that there is a god, and you go to heaven when you die (hopefully) and the whole nine.
(I was raised by my mom, and step-dad, who adopted me at a very young age.) when I met by biological father and his side of the family at about 18 (im now 25), I found out they are very religious. southern Baptist. my dads dad was a preacher, any my dad and all aunts and uncles came up in the church.
my step-dads side of the family is very religious also (cstholic).
everyone knows that my b/f is atheist. and almost everyone either thinks he is nave, looks down on him, or just plain thinks hes stupid. I have recently been following some of the worlds most predominate atheists and doing some of my own research, and have realize there are probably no gods. even worse than that, MY GOD probably doesn't exist.
I feel very uncomfortable telling anyone other than my b/f and counselor that I have lost my faith, for fear of them looking down on me, or looking at me differently. I don't know how to be open about it.
im not trying to offend anyone, there just aren't any supports groups for what I am going through, that's why I posted it here. if anyone has some words of wisdom they can offer, would really appreciate it.
oh, I should probably add that we have 3 children. there are some people who understand my not teaching god to my kids (as I didn't even as a christain, to respect my b/f's beliefs) but there are other people that insist that they will drop hints/learn about god if they are around my children. since no one kmows I have lost faith, I kinda feel like I don't know how to tell them no.
I have recently lost my faith in religion. my long-time boyfriend is an atheist, and up until about a year ago, I was a Christian. I didn't grow up in a particularly religious family, but it was understood that there is a god, and you go to heaven when you die (hopefully) and the whole nine.
(I was raised by my mom, and step-dad, who adopted me at a very young age.) when I met by biological father and his side of the family at about 18 (im now 25), I found out they are very religious. southern Baptist. my dads dad was a preacher, any my dad and all aunts and uncles came up in the church.
my step-dads side of the family is very religious also (cstholic).
everyone knows that my b/f is atheist. and almost everyone either thinks he is nave, looks down on him, or just plain thinks hes stupid. I have recently been following some of the worlds most predominate atheists and doing some of my own research, and have realize there are probably no gods. even worse than that, MY GOD probably doesn't exist.
I feel very uncomfortable telling anyone other than my b/f and counselor that I have lost my faith, for fear of them looking down on me, or looking at me differently. I don't know how to be open about it.
im not trying to offend anyone, there just aren't any supports groups for what I am going through, that's why I posted it here. if anyone has some words of wisdom they can offer, would really appreciate it.
oh, I should probably add that we have 3 children. there are some people who understand my not teaching god to my kids (as I didn't even as a christain, to respect my b/f's beliefs) but there are other people that insist that they will drop hints/learn about god if they are around my children. since no one kmows I have lost faith, I kinda feel like I don't know how to tell them no.
...I grew up in a religious family and people in my family believe in something not out of faith but out of fear and that was done by their parents and grandparents...I don't believe in following anything blindly..the one of many things that I strongly believe...hell and heaven are on earth, be kind, do good and be nice to others..we are all mortal souls and we are all here to do good deeds..that's it..period!
The thing is, I don't find your atheism offensive or indicative of you being "lesser" in any way. Our spiritual identities are very often a way to process our relationship to the world we live in. My spirituality functions in a mindset of a Christian framework. It works for me. I believe that a lifetime of kindness and compassion, while rewarding in itself, can lead to more of the same afterward. In your worldview, I imagine that your outlook is more that since your time is finite, it is better spent making things better for yourself and the world around you rather than tearing it apart.
I'm sure you know the sad truth that the vocal majority tends to be more "Christian" than Christian; there's an important distinction. "Christians" use their faith as an outlet for bigotry and insecurity. They lash out, judge, harm and condemn those who aren't like themselves. It is a profound cognitive dissonance that allows them to ignore the teachings of their Bible while simultaneously persecuting others for doing the same. Christians however, are able to accept that not everyone is on the same spiritual path, but as long as they embrace the ideals of compassion, kindness, and betterment, then they are still good people.
Do I think you're going to hell for being Atheist? Nah. In mind mind that depends on how you lived your life, and who you've touched along the way. Similarly, from your perspective, when my number does one day come up, I hope it is after a life of positive choices, and happy memories.
Who's to say who is correct? Skepticism is healthy. The point is to never let a crisis of faith or glorious lack thereof define who you are as a person. Be proud of your resolve and contributions you make. That is the measure of a human being.
So when relatives offer a pity party for your soul, draw up some of that kindness and compassion and see them for the flawed creatures they are. Appreciate them for their positive qualities.
You cannot shield your kids from religion forever. Instead of forbidding it, encourage it. ALL of it. When I was in High School I had the opportunity to explore religion. I read up on Christianity, Hinduism, Taoism, Islam, Judaism, etc. I even asked the hard question as to whether these "isms" even exist (atheism and to some degree agnosticism). I realized that Christianity spoke to me and who I was as a person. Christianity without a Catholic filter that is. You don't have to shield your kids, you can educate them. Let them make an informed decision about how they want to grow spiritually. If something speaks to them, support them. Even if it is not the direction you followed.
Many people just don't believe in atheism (ironic); they believe that you have a problem with god, who you must be believe in (who could not believe in god) and are just angry and lashing out at him with your talk of his non-existence. Therefore, it is impossible to have a discussion with someone about something they refuse to acknowledge as being possible. My advice is to not bother trying.
If and when the topic comes up, be true to what you believe, but never expect them to understand. Let anything they say that might upset you just roll of your shoulders. Avoid the topic.
And no one has the right to try to convert your children when you are raising them to think for themselves. It is not their place. Jerks. Now them, yes, you definitely have every right and responsibility to tell them what to do with themselves.
Be true to yourself !! Best wishes.