Well, if you are out..... it shouldn't take too long for others to realize the truth. Are you participating in any PDA? Holding hands in public etc? Or is he hiding in plain sight, always around you but no PDA?

Have you talked to him about coming out? You have been through it, you might need to "hold his hand" through his coming out process? Is he strongly opposed to coming out? Has he accepted himself as a gay man? Sounds like you need to have a serious conversation. Remember to listen to his fears and concerns as well.

I wouldn't push too hard, gauge his resistance. You don't want to accidentally push him away because of this.

Andy,

I can only offer anecdotal support.

While my boyfriend is out, he is not to his parents. He and we would visit them as "roommates" and he'd put on quite the act for them. They are quite lovely people actually and I thought this charade quite sad. However it is my boyfriend's journey, and while I can offer advice, I must follow his lead. Well, last year his mother called right after the gay pride parade. We live in New York and marriage equality had just passed into law. She said, "Oh your father and I are just thrilled, you boys can get married now!" While he did have a rather public panic attack, the moral of the story is that my boyfriend's parents always knew he was gay and never loved him any less. We laugh about it now.

With your boyfriend, just follow his lead, offer your support and remind him that you are there for him to help him come out at a pace he is comfortable with. After all, the ones who truly love him, won't love him any less.

All the best,
Steve

As someone that isn't into PDA, I can only say that you need to give him time. I do not know the reasons that he may have for remaining in the closet, but that is his decision to make when he is ready to reveal it to others. I only say this because that option was taken from me by my partner and almost cost us our relationship.

As you and he walk together into the future, he may decide to share why he hasn't come out yet. It may just be fear holding him back, or it could be that he is still coming to grips with being gay. Take it slow, respect his feelings when it comes to PDA and be there when he is finally ready to take that step. It is one of the most trusting and dangerous feelings to share, so treasure what he is willing to share and be patient for his trust and comfort level to allow him to come out.

Good luck.

You'd be surprised how many people know anyway ! Another thing, you would stop worrying what people think of you, if you realised how little time they do! We all bake our bread and bury our dead....Being gay is just one of our many labels and certainly by far more important to ourselves than it is to others. You are adult now, and you get to map out your life. Make it a good one!

You say 'hang out' sounds more like a friends relationship in public, you should talk to him about it, I suppose it would also deped on how long he's been in the closet for, in a way I'd be scared to I guess say pressurise someone in case the ending result was bad, tricky situation, I wish you the best of luck :)

I feel it's about time to be out. Acceptance of gay and lesbian people is higher than ever. Still some people fear losing their job or other repercussions of being "out." You live in Florida, a Red State. But if you live in one of the major cities, they're very progressive. So if you're a city-boy, I encourage you to have some dialogue with your man and encourage him to make steps toward coming out. If not, be patient if you really like him.

If you like and respect eachother and enjoy eachother's company...be patient and respect his decission. Trust me, I'm 46 and have only "come out" 5yrs ago, and that was only to my family.
Been in denial and have struggled with my sexual identity my whole life.

Thanksss! Indeed we have taken the friends only approach now. Just friends sucks. He was feeling too much in love with me and still thinks he might fall in love with a woman and have a family.

Our relationship is distant, more than I wished. He moved to a town one hour away and we promised to meet once a week.

Right now he is avoiding having phone call and seldom texts me.

I will let him take the driver seat and just focus myself in work, gym and gettting together with my friends on the weekend. If he does not invite me to go over tomorrow Wednesday, then I guess I will just have to put him in the parking lot and wait.

I really appreciate everyone giving fantastic advice.

Big hug everyone.

Andy

Wait a minute Andy. You didn't mention that. He's distant, won't call, thinks he's going to fall in love with and marry a woman? These are red flags. You should've led with that.

I'm going to be brutally honest. If I were you, I would have already started dating other guys. Obviously this guy is in denial about his sexuality. You deserve so much better. There are amazing men out there. Go find one. This guy isn't someone you need to waste your time on.

Tough words Enrique, but very true. It is a harsh reality Andy but this guy just gave up filet Mignon for imitation hamburger. You deserve to be more than someone's "dirty little secret".

Well, now my EX-boyfriend.

Thanks for your advise.

Happy & chill!
Andy