Coming Out Support Group

This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men and lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.

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Lesbian & Gay
/ Coming Out Support Group

What Should I Do?

Jellybear
Jellybear
I've never really talked to my parents about what they thought of same sex relationships or marriage. So when same sex marriage became legal in my state, I took it as an opportunity to finally talk about it. (For clarification, I'm a lesbian who is still in the closet.) I've been casually slipping the topic into conversation when we hear about it on tv or the radio.
Everyday I've thought about the pros and cons of coming out. More than once a day I thought about coming out. It has been overwhelming in my thoughts and I feel so ready to come out. The thing is though, right when I think that I'm going to do it, I just can't. Am I trying to tell myself that I'm actually not ready, or am I just nervous? I'm really not sure what to do.
seemad
seemad
probably nervous and that's okay as well...even I was nervous and almost to the point that I was dreading them disowning me..well for us in general it's hard..and what makes it harder is that parents and friends mean a lot to us and we don't want to lose them
having said that I strongly believe that in my opinion, if you tell your parents, (when u are ready) it will be okay, they will be shocked (or not), they might not want to talk about it (or do), they might need some time to process it (or not as they already know) so there are a lot of pros and cons as u put it, but in the end it's always the same result...ITS LIBERATING!!
all the best!
tim2218
tim2218
I agree with seemad. Every ones coming out experience is different and only you will have an idea of how people will react. Your friends will still be your friends most likely, if they are true friends. And if not they needn't be in your life. As far as your parents go they probably have an idea, especially if you've not been dating guys. Most parents just have the idea, some just choose to ignore it thinking it's either a phase or it will go away. When I came out my mom disowned me for six months and I waited and let her come to me when she was ready. I didn't ask for acceptance, just acknowledgment. Not gonna say it will be easy, but from my interaction with friends, most say the parents were pretty accepting. Being gay in today's society isn't nearly as bad as it was in the 70's when I came out. Look how far we've come and how accepted we are.

It is a liberating experience when you do come out and can be proud of who you are. Your sexual it doesn't define you.

Best of luck