Coming Out Support Group
This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men and lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.
So where do I begin...
I recently came out as questioning to my family. The problem is that I know I am really a lesbian. I came out as lesbian to all of my friends, and I am now out and proud at college. However, my parents still think that I am questioning and "confused". I attend my school's GSA and I am very involved. I've made so many great friends, but I have been lying to my parents that I have been attending the Christian meetings on campus and that's where I have met all the friends I talk about. I feel terrible about lying to them, and my conscience as a Christian is telling me that I shouldn't be using God to lie. I don't know what to do. Every time I try to come out to my parents, I just can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I am disappointing them, and that's the last thing I would ever want to do to my parents. I can't live like this anymore. Its driving me crazy! I also have a girl I am seeing. I just want to share my happiness (something new for me) with my family, but I feel like, if I do, that there will be a huge argument. It's tearing me apart. I'm so close with my mother and father that I want to include them on every aspect of my life. i want to show them how happy I am, but I feel terrible for lying. What should I do?
I recently came out as questioning to my family. The problem is that I know I am really a lesbian. I came out as lesbian to all of my friends, and I am now out and proud at college. However, my parents still think that I am questioning and "confused". I attend my school's GSA and I am very involved. I've made so many great friends, but I have been lying to my parents that I have been attending the Christian meetings on campus and that's where I have met all the friends I talk about. I feel terrible about lying to them, and my conscience as a Christian is telling me that I shouldn't be using God to lie. I don't know what to do. Every time I try to come out to my parents, I just can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I am disappointing them, and that's the last thing I would ever want to do to my parents. I can't live like this anymore. Its driving me crazy! I also have a girl I am seeing. I just want to share my happiness (something new for me) with my family, but I feel like, if I do, that there will be a huge argument. It's tearing me apart. I'm so close with my mother and father that I want to include them on every aspect of my life. i want to show them how happy I am, but I feel terrible for lying. What should I do?
First off, if your parents were truly going to throw you out, or argue with you endlessly, they would have started when you told them that you were questioning. On some level, they know. All parents do, except the ones that lie to themselves, and even they just need to be told. You've told all your friends, and you are proud, but if I may quote my own mother when I came out, "It's the fact i'm being told last."
Your parents deserve to be, as you want them, in every aspect of your life. I think you're old and mature enough for them to realize that you are sure. Sit them down and act as if it isn't a big deal, because it isn't, its your life and who you are. It's just another detail to your personality, as much as hating a certain kind of food.. Society just makes a bigger deal.
As a fellow Christian, I would definitely stop using God as a lie, while it's due to a worry and hope to impress your parents, it's not the right thing to do. The fact you know this is answer in itself to that. You say you are close to your parents, I -know- that won't change. Just lay it all on the table, come clean and trust me, it's like having a massive weight off your shoulders. You'll never have to doubt yourself again, because the only acceptance you need is from yourself, and from your parents.
Once you have that, what can stop you?