Jaynie...
I think it's all those things. I lost a few 'friends' after diagnosis as well - but gained many more during my treatments. In hind-sight, the ones that 'ran away' were not true friends anyway and today I see that it was a blessing. I'm not sure why some people behave the way they do, my thoughts are they just don't know how to cope with the news. The best thing you can do is not to waste energy on them, just move on, it is their loss.

I really haven't lost any friends during this, but one of my very closest friends didn't even come to the hospital when I had my surgery, that was in March and she calls frequently but never has come to see me, then I went to a grad party a couple of weeks ago and she talked to me but wouldn't even look at me. I feel like this is her issue not mine, I think she is just afraid of losing me, I'm ot going anywhere soon trust me!

I too lost 2 friends ,well people I thought were my friends then I realized it was because I could not do for them at the time of recovery. It hurt til I realized why and now ........they just don"t matter anymore. It is their loss not mine.

thanks for your comments, i was very hurt for a long time but like you say sabeebe dont waste my energy on them anymore. I now live my life to the full and as you all say its their loss not mine, one good thing though you find out who your true friends are. When i was really bad with fatigue my neighbour and now bestfriend would come and look after when john was at work, she helped organise a party for my mums 80'th, she even tended to my garden, and this is a woman who works full time with four kids and one was serving in afghanistan at the time, so she had her own stresses. She did the race for life with me last week, so to Debbie i salute you and would like to thank you for being a true friend.

It happened to me too. Even some members of my own family. I had a friend years ago that was terminal and he made the same observation. So, when it happened to me, I wasn't surprised.

I am a Nurse and have taken care of many patients with Cancer or other terminal disease. I was surprised at their family and friends? While some family stayed with their loved ones around the clock others hardly showed up? I could even tell them maybe you should be here 'at this time' more often.
It would be like they were more afraid then?
I have found it in my case too. Not friends as much, but they all work and I can see where their time is gone from me.
Just calling me for lunch or dinner would mean so much? I know they don't hate me, but they have a fear, that maybe I might just die on them.

Strange too with my Spouse. He had so many friends and was a Big Masonic member! They would visit him 'But all together' One friend came everyday and alone!

Where I worked if I knew the time was close I would go back and be with them if I knew their family would not be there.

It is strange, but I can compare this with 'Pets' that need to be put down? I am a resistered Euthanasia tech (also) and people hurt so much when this has to be done. They could barely bring them in and in some cases I would go to their homes (for the sake of the Pet and owners)
I always offered for them to be present and only a small per-cent 'could' be.

We even talked about this at Re-Hab yesterday. I am in Therapy 'Myself' Another couple where the Husband had suffered a Heart Attack, were talking about how all their friends had seemed to stay away from them? A young couple and their hearts were broken.
This is hard to deal with not only for us, but our friends. Some of my family have turned against me? They did not like my choice of getting another doctor?
We have to just accept it.
graci