College Stress Support Group
This community is dedicated to the unique challenges and stresses of being in college or university, including: relationship challenges, roommates, financial issues, academics, and questions about careers and future. College is exciting, scary, fulfilling, and sometimes a little out of control. Get support from other students and make a new friend!
Hey all, firstly i'd like to say hello since this is the first post i have made here and the first time i've ever been part of a support group like this.
I'm a 21 year old guy in university and for the last month or so i've been feeling really low. Low about my university success, low about my social life, low about my health, my identity, my career prospects and many other things. This post is not just about my college problems but they are my most immediate issue so i put the post here. I would quickly like to note that i do consider myself extremely lucky in my life and i know there are many people with far worse problems than I, but right now i am feeling so extremely low and i just need somewhere to get it off my chest.
In my education i have always done pretty well and have sailed through the education system, 2 years ago i moved to new zealand alone from the UK and found it pretty easy to reach this level, even my first year of university seemed like no problem to me. I passed all my papers with little effort, i had loads of friends, life was good. Last year, however, things started to go downhill for me. I don't know why or where it came from but i just started to become totally demotivated about everything. I sat in my room for hours on end, just entertaining myself and getting fat. I am an only child so i have no problem doing this, i've been doing it all my life. I didn't care about work any more, i hardly ever studied, even though i really knew i should!!
On top of that, i started wanting to go out, less and less often, even though i was finding myself bored and it was totally irrational to stay in. In my head i rationalised it by telling myself i was too ugly, fat, unhealthy to go out all the time and i started dwelling on depressing memories of childhood bullying (which i experienced a lot of in my whole time at school from the ages 6-18), even though i had previously felt i had managed to cope and get over that issue.
This year, i thought i was back on track but suddenly this feeling of complete demotivation came back about a month ago but in a much stronger form than before. For the last month i have done almost no work except completing assignments half-heartedly the day before they were due. I have sat at home alone for the majority of the time making excuses not to go out and do things, eating unhealthily and sleeping. I feel terrible! Last night i was lying in bed trying to sleep and started to have a panic attack just worrying about how my life was turning out, it was such a terrible experience that it has temporarily given me the motivation to seek some advice and support.
I feel like i am failing at life, i am so far behind in all my papers, probably going to have to re-take 2 of them next semester, i am out of touch with nearly all my friends and feel like a lonely, pathetic loser, i feel fat, unhealthy, dirty and worthless and when i think about the prospect of meeting new people it makes me anxious and triggers memories of bullying. I have never had a proper relationship, whenever i try to talk to girls i dont know my heart races and I find myself lost for words. People even think i'm gay because I seem so disinterested in having a relationship with a girl, and for some reason this really bothers me, but it's just that my lack of self-confidence is keeping me from getting out and meeting people, I would actually love to just be in a relationship (sex aside). I am still a virgin, however, and this makes me feel even more worthless.
Although, this next point seems stupid, the fact i've been given such good opportunities are making me feel even more down because i feel like I am wasting my life, letting myself and my parents down and will never live up to my father (who is extremely successful). I have little idea of what i want to do after university and no work experience or job contacts, so i feel like my employment situation after university is hopeless anyway.
This post was to get some things off my chest, but also to ask for some advice on how to get re-motivated quickly and stay motivated, so i can enjoy life again and also some advice on how i can boost my confidence and meet new friends (nightclubs just dont work for me and i never end up talking to anyone except the people i go with).
Thanks if you bothered reading this, no worries if you didn't. Hopefully someone can relate to me, i enjoy meeting some of you on this site.
I'm a 21 year old guy in university and for the last month or so i've been feeling really low. Low about my university success, low about my social life, low about my health, my identity, my career prospects and many other things. This post is not just about my college problems but they are my most immediate issue so i put the post here. I would quickly like to note that i do consider myself extremely lucky in my life and i know there are many people with far worse problems than I, but right now i am feeling so extremely low and i just need somewhere to get it off my chest.
In my education i have always done pretty well and have sailed through the education system, 2 years ago i moved to new zealand alone from the UK and found it pretty easy to reach this level, even my first year of university seemed like no problem to me. I passed all my papers with little effort, i had loads of friends, life was good. Last year, however, things started to go downhill for me. I don't know why or where it came from but i just started to become totally demotivated about everything. I sat in my room for hours on end, just entertaining myself and getting fat. I am an only child so i have no problem doing this, i've been doing it all my life. I didn't care about work any more, i hardly ever studied, even though i really knew i should!!
On top of that, i started wanting to go out, less and less often, even though i was finding myself bored and it was totally irrational to stay in. In my head i rationalised it by telling myself i was too ugly, fat, unhealthy to go out all the time and i started dwelling on depressing memories of childhood bullying (which i experienced a lot of in my whole time at school from the ages 6-18), even though i had previously felt i had managed to cope and get over that issue.
This year, i thought i was back on track but suddenly this feeling of complete demotivation came back about a month ago but in a much stronger form than before. For the last month i have done almost no work except completing assignments half-heartedly the day before they were due. I have sat at home alone for the majority of the time making excuses not to go out and do things, eating unhealthily and sleeping. I feel terrible! Last night i was lying in bed trying to sleep and started to have a panic attack just worrying about how my life was turning out, it was such a terrible experience that it has temporarily given me the motivation to seek some advice and support.
I feel like i am failing at life, i am so far behind in all my papers, probably going to have to re-take 2 of them next semester, i am out of touch with nearly all my friends and feel like a lonely, pathetic loser, i feel fat, unhealthy, dirty and worthless and when i think about the prospect of meeting new people it makes me anxious and triggers memories of bullying. I have never had a proper relationship, whenever i try to talk to girls i dont know my heart races and I find myself lost for words. People even think i'm gay because I seem so disinterested in having a relationship with a girl, and for some reason this really bothers me, but it's just that my lack of self-confidence is keeping me from getting out and meeting people, I would actually love to just be in a relationship (sex aside). I am still a virgin, however, and this makes me feel even more worthless.
Although, this next point seems stupid, the fact i've been given such good opportunities are making me feel even more down because i feel like I am wasting my life, letting myself and my parents down and will never live up to my father (who is extremely successful). I have little idea of what i want to do after university and no work experience or job contacts, so i feel like my employment situation after university is hopeless anyway.
This post was to get some things off my chest, but also to ask for some advice on how to get re-motivated quickly and stay motivated, so i can enjoy life again and also some advice on how i can boost my confidence and meet new friends (nightclubs just dont work for me and i never end up talking to anyone except the people i go with).
Thanks if you bothered reading this, no worries if you didn't. Hopefully someone can relate to me, i enjoy meeting some of you on this site.
I would like to try and deal with the problem myself if possible, i'd rather my parents didn't find out how bad its been getting.
Once i start to get back on track and maybe meeting some new people i'm sure i can overcome any symptoms of depression that i've been facing but it would be great to get some advice on how other people have managed to get re-motivated and maybe some self-image/confidence boosting techniques.