I have really been struggling lately with self worth.  There are many things I can do well and I have a great job that I enjoy.  I make good money and I'm poised to do well financially for retirement.

However, I'm depressed.  It's mild.  I can shake it off to get things done and function.  Maybe the bathroom goes a little too long between cleanings, I find it hard to motivate myself to exercise, and I watch a little too much TV in my free time, but that's mostly the extent of it.  

I have been trying to take my focus away from my husband and put it back on myself but it's really been hard.  I feel I don't have any secure support in general in my life and it is making me question everything and everyone.  When I know things are going well for me in life my feelings of low self-worth are easy to ignore.  The reality that my marriage isn't secure, and my personal needs in it are not being met, is too much for me to handle right now.  I am sinking deeper into depression.  

While married to my first husband, I didn't leave until I started believing that I was  worth more than he told me I was worth and I felt that I deserved better than he was treating me.  Those feelings had to come FIRST.  I would not have left otherwise.  Then while in undergrad and graduate studies, I knew I felt worth because I was working towards something worthwhile and accomplishing goals. At that time I also had positive relationships with people that helped me to feel supported overall.  

I don't feel the support I used to have.  My relationships with friends are okay.  We go out some and enjoy being together, but I don't have the type of friends that I once had where I felt I could pour my heart out to them and receive some empathy.  My husband's response to me is lukewarm.  We haven't been fighting lately.  I have been trying to rephrase my concerns and questions to accomplish purposes rather than start contentions.  He gives me a minimal amount of affection and does not seek out anything further than that.  

Ultimately, to attract healthy people into my life I have to be a healthy person.  I can't be focused on what I don't have because it won't help me to be content.  The lack of support in my life is really draining on my perception of self-worth.  I feel that I can't begin to take steps forward without feeling good about myself.  I can't gain some better feelings about myself without support, I can't gain healthy support while engaging in unhealthy behaviors.