I realized this past week that I need to take the time to grieve.
I lived a lot of years throughout my life where I couldn't do any grieving because I was so distracted and busy caring for others and being entrenched in unhealthy attachments that I just kept putting it off and stuffing it down.
Now that my youngest has moved out, I have more time to just "be" and the emotions are starting to come out.
I have over 4 decades of grief pent up in me. I know all of it needs to go as I get tearry eyed just thinking about the pain from earlier in my life. My difficulty is that I don't want to spend the time grieving every day. I know it will help to relieve my tension but at the same time I feel it's wasting time that could be spent on other things that I want to achieve.
Also, I don't necessarily want to discuss the things that have bothered me over the years. It hasn't changed and discussing it won't change the past. I think that if I took the time to start grieving I wouldn't get the distance from my husband that I need to do it. I need to be left all need to grieve and then have people come back to me when I'm done.
Histruggling atm with boundary violations in a friendship . Background 7 year friendship with a girl who has a very strong sense of self and alpha female personality not a narcissist but due to a loving self focussed upbringing that’s her personality . In the friendship group there’s me whose recovering from codependency and another friend who is a codependent in denial now there’s a few...
Not sure how much we're allowed to get into. But I just posted a journal entitled screaming which really says it all. All of a sudden my life feels like it's back in crisis mode. And all because of a memory. I hate the way my brain work sometimes. And it's not very much fun having a mother that allowed my father to do what he did to me for all those years. I want so much to get past...