Codependents working their recovery Community Group
Working on recovery
The first few weeks of shutdown were very stressful for me, mostly because I didn't know what would happen with work. My site transitioned well over to working from home and I did not have a loss in pay. Working from home hasn't been so bad but I would still rather be at work.
Early on during quarantine I began walking daily just to get out of the house for a bit and give myself some space. The daily walking and exercise really turned into me getting time to think and decompress. I have been processing a lot during my exercise times over the past two months, much more than I did prior to this time.
I have been doing well, mental health wise in part to me spending more time focusing on the CODA principles and focusing on myself being healthy. I don't think I would have done that before now. Seeing the positive progress has been good incentive to keep going. Not much has changed with my spouse, but I am getting better. I am pursuing my health and needs regardless of him.
I have found myself grieving more in the past week and I think if I need to grieve then it's best to do it. I just want to be done at some point. I don't feel that I can move on to better health while I'm stuck grieving the past. I don't know if I will always be grieving something throughout my life and that thought disturbs me. That extra weight is not productive.
I feel I'm ready to find a therapist to work out some issues but with the way things are now I don't want to pursue it. Discussing my issues over online chat while my hubby sits in the next room isn't appealing. I'd like to go to a CODA meeting but haven't because they're all online too. I will have to be patient and wait for Reopening of society.
am Glad you are facing and looking
At yourself on a deeper level. The
reflecting and Quieting the mind
Certainly does help. Codependency
Work is tough, deep and its baby steps.
Stress is a killer. I am a different person
after i Stopped doing my job taking care
Of people. I was beyond burnt out And
trying to heal myself at the same Time.
My body feels like it is still Healing and
Its Been a year and half.
There is a lot of grief in recovery. You need
to move thru the pain, sit in it And to face it.
It Definitely helps Us to Have a strong sense
of HP. HP does Give us courage to change,
grow And heal. Its not an easy Or simple
journey. Detaching from someone can be
brutally hard too.
I now embrace the feel good stuff and i
know I can handle the not so good stuff
using My tools and the Alanon program.
I Do try Very hard to Keep the hula hoop
firmly around myself. Codependents have
a hard Time with that concept.
The caretaker, fixer and controller are
all three sick behaviors and they are
the Three basic types in alanon. They
Are three good goals for us to stop
doing Anymore.
I miss My ex yet my issues are mostly
All about me Not him as much. His issues
are about him And his family And His
upbringing. Two dysfunctional People
Getting married and things Can go Very
Wrong.
Healthy communication is the key to
A healthy Marriage. They say you Both
need Self love Onboard and both have
strong Boundaries in place. That was
Not us for sure. All of our issues were
Working Underground within both of us.
I too walk every day and it is helping
Me to stay sane and to feel centered
And human. These are trying times for
all of us. Its a good and bad situation,
You can go In deep yet There is a lot of
uncertainty And fear with corona. I do
mask up and Will Glove up sometimes.
I still have Not eaten any fast food or
cooked food Curbside. I am still leery
And hope it passes sooner rather than
Later.
I do zoom meetings and just listen In on
some. Not sure what Coda is Doing. My
Home group is on break during Corona.
I have been very lucky and my Therapist
and i do the tele-health every two weeks.
I Still need Her and This year i have good
insurance for Seeing her more often. The
Transitioning can be hard too. I do church
On zoom. Its not the same thing yet zoom
Does help.
Glad you are sharing your story on here,
hugs
to move thru the pain, sit in it And to face it."
I know I definitely need to do this as I pushed off grieving for some many years while serving others. Plus, I had a parent who shut me down every time I had a grievance and after so much if that I started believing I didn't have a right to be angry about or complain about anything.
My fear is that I will begin to wallow in my grief and stay there way too long without it being productive, then turning into depression.
I suppose I won't know unless I try. That's where it would be nice to o have someone check me, like a counselor.
Page. That is so cool And good going.
I know I need to get on the Fodmap
diet too. I believe i Have IBS.
You said the right word. FEAR thats
What most people have That are new
To recovery.
After awhile i beat every Bush i could
find to help myself get Better, stronger
and healthier. I sat And cried at alanon
for close to two years. I did listen and
I learned a lot.
I went thru a divorce After Awhile too.
There was a lot of grief work to move
Thru and To get past plus All of The
detaching from him.
Eventually In recovery you learn to
Deal with your Fears and you will have
the tools to Cope with them.
My therapist is a 12 stepper herself So
that was very helpful to me. She is More
like my guide and i do the heavy Lifting.
It is very nice having a good one for that
one On one help and guidance that we
Often need, hugs