I agree with this wholeheartedly, however, I can see every mother and wife rolling their eyes at the notion and saying "Who has the time" HAHAHAHA!!

I think that there is a fine balance to everything in life, and you have to know yourself really well to balance the scale as the situations call for. I know for myself there are days/weeks/months that I feel full and replenished, therefor can support others and provide haven or emotional support or whatever the situation calls for. Then there are times where I feel worked and totally depleted and I know that is when I have to totally and completely be selfish to replenish myself. I am learning the fine balance and not going to either extreme and being able to just "be" in both situations and not have to overcompensate. I am finding though I don't have a clear distinction on the measurement in percentages.....just a knowing within myself when I need to do something for me and be technically "selfish" but in an effort to be my best self. Or when I am able to give completely and unconditionally.....its always a work in progress but it is really about listening to yourself and boy is it a quiet voice....so easy to miss and ignore! You always hope it is going to be a roaring lion voice but it is so whisper like, no??

Great meditation!! Can you share is this your own practice and this came to you, or was this guided? I am always looking for guided meditations if you can share :)

Can't wait to hear your news!!

Have you heard of the Oprah-Chopra meditations? I actually bought their guided 21 day challenge the "Miraculous Relationships" meditation and it was the "Day 4 - Miraculous Self" meditation. The idea being you can't have authentic relationships in your life with other people until you have a solid authentic relationship with yourself. It comes with journal prompts to help you reflect on what's being shared and how it applies in your life. I do recommend this one (so far) and "Manifesting True Success", honestly, though I hate to have to pay for it. ^_~

Link: https://chopracentermeditation.com/store

I can also see that being true. I love that line! Also thanks for the meditation link. I have been wanting to start doing some meditation but not sure where to start. I will take a look at the link and see what's there. Are there courses in meditation....lol? I have no idea. It seems like something I might like to get involved with. Thanks again!

I live by the philosophy 'love the one you're with.' When I am spending time with anyone, I really try and devote my time and attention to what they need - however, I never ignore my own needs. If I notice that it's likely that my need is likely to clash with someone else's, I try and arrange a compromise.

I agree with what CodaChrome said about the need for balance. There's a book I read on narcissistic mothers which demonstrates that co-dependents need to be careful not to swing too far in the direction of looking after all of their needs. Otherwise they end up not acting in self love, but actually end up acting in an almost narcissistic way.

It does seem true though that people are encouraged to live in a self-sacrificing way which in the end, does more harm than good. I believe that we should identify and take care of our core needs, try for a compromise if there is a clash and only occasionally act in self-sacrifice. There are good teachings from Anthony DeMello on this issue. Despite the fact he never refers to co-dependency, his writings have much to offer anyone who is co-dependent.

You might be interested in looking him up as he speaks a great deal on the subject of selfishness. We are raised to see it as bad to act selfishly but Anthony DeMello suggests that everything we do, even what we do for others, is out of selfishness. He suggests that even self-sacrificing fulfils a kind of need within us as it helps us to feel 'good' about ourselves. He says a lot more and it's really interesting because I learned to stop feeling ashamed of my supposed 'selfishness' as it helped me see the entire subject in a different light.

Love,

Alana