Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I go into a bit of a panic whenever my boss emails me to do something for the business. Even if it isn't entirely necessary at that time I still freak out and if I can't do it right away, I get VERY uncomfortable. Sometimes I flat-out panic.
I'm afraid to go out and exercise/have fun/do anything that would improve my life because I feel like I have to be available right then and there, and if I'm not she'll be mad at me. I'm working on a degree and if I get a "please do this" email in class it's a nightmare.
I feel guilty for being myself and on those rare occasions when I figure out who my Self is, it's automatically wrong because it just is.
I feel guilty for wanting to get my Masters and leave the business even though I know that if I stay it may destroy me.
I kinda feel guilty for existing sometimes.
Add in the fact that I work for my mum and it gets even heavier. She says it doesn't matter to her, as long as stuff gets done and I'm happy. She doesn't understand my panic and fear.
So here is me, searching for help after reading "Co-Dependency For Dummies" until 2:00 in the morning.
What do I do now? No one except my husband gets to see the real me and it's exhausting keeping up the front...
I'm afraid to go out and exercise/have fun/do anything that would improve my life because I feel like I have to be available right then and there, and if I'm not she'll be mad at me. I'm working on a degree and if I get a "please do this" email in class it's a nightmare.
I feel guilty for being myself and on those rare occasions when I figure out who my Self is, it's automatically wrong because it just is.
I feel guilty for wanting to get my Masters and leave the business even though I know that if I stay it may destroy me.
I kinda feel guilty for existing sometimes.
Add in the fact that I work for my mum and it gets even heavier. She says it doesn't matter to her, as long as stuff gets done and I'm happy. She doesn't understand my panic and fear.
So here is me, searching for help after reading "Co-Dependency For Dummies" until 2:00 in the morning.
What do I do now? No one except my husband gets to see the real me and it's exhausting keeping up the front...
Working for your Mum seems stressful to me, and I would not do that.
You complain about having a real you and a false you - but I like split personality. I do that all the time.
Lots of people believe that they must act the same and be the same at all times and with every one - and I totally reject that idea as nonsense.
I act different around children then I do with elderly people, and I act different around friends then I do with my family of origin and even more different around strangers.
To act different on our job then how we act at home or when out on the town is completely sensible and normal for me.
Surely you do not want to act the same to your Mum as you do to your husband.
Long ago when I lived with a soul-mate GF and she saw that I was acting different in public then how I acted with her and she told me how flattering it was to her as it made her feel very special - and she was right too because she was super special to me.
What I truly suggest is that you start liking your style of being different to different people because THAT is what makes us into being a deep and complicated personality.
The trick is that we NEVER make our acting into a lie or dishonesty because we must remain true to our self.
To act does not mean being untrue, or it certainly is not when I do it.
That is why I do not like the idea of you working for your Mum because it violates that human division.
We act differently to our Mum then to our Boss or Employer, but you working for Mum means you have the two positions as enmeshed, and in codependency we call that as an enmeshed boundary because Mum is not to be your job boss.
Link = http://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-on-setting-boundaries-in-enmeshed-relationships/
That is what I say - but you do as you choose for your self.