Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
so ive seen a few therapist in my 28 years of life and for the past 2 1/2 years ive had the same therapist. when we started off i was okay and let tell you she is a woman in her 50's and like a mother figure although she has no kids herself and my mom is emotionally un available so i naturally gravatate torwards older females. after a few visits she started endearing me calling me sweetie and baby and nice names and always hugging me and rubbing my back when id cry which was alot. for so long this went on and i got closer and closer to her and she got close to me too. at this point in time she doesnt endear me with "baby" and it upsets me because it made me feel good like i belonged although she calls me sweetie still so i know our connection is still there and since i lost my job she sees me for free. i expect her to fix all my problems and be the one to be there for me all the time and when shes not i throw a fit like a little kid and feel unloved. sometimes when i see her if she doesnt hug me or she alot of affection i feel like she doesnt care. now im borderline personality and bi polar so what insight can anyone give me esp about the name calling part? am i too attatched or something?
This is my belief and you can take it or not.
My understanding is that we must put our Higher Power (put God) first and foremost in our life or else we turn to the other people around us and turn the person into an idol, and a Therapist is a very easy person to turn into an idol as the Higher Power.
When married people do not have any religious conviction (no God) then they turn their spouse into their God (the idol) and it creates huge problems. This is why 2 people who have the same religion will often have a long and happy marriage because the same God is in charge of them both.
As like a husband says that he worships his wife - then that is going too far. And a wife who adores her husband is going too far.
You turning to your Therapist as your Savior or as your soul mate is very normal and natural just as children see their own parents as God figures, but THEN we all need to mature and turn away from our old infatuations and start making a real connection and a real relationship to God as our Highest Power.
If you were abused as a child (as most people were) then you grow up viewing your own abuser as the Higher Power, and then we transfer that over to our spouse or to our Therapist, and to be healthy we really need to straighten out our damaged spirituality which was violated by abuse.
Here is a link that explains some of this:
https://independentfew.wordpress.com/empowering-abuse/
This is just my opinion based on my own study and research, and just offering a possible answer to your question.
Your "therapist" is abusing you. she apparently knows no boundaries. She should have NEVER have touched you! There are RULES and they're there for a reason! Of Course you've grown attached to your therapist! She's invaded your personal space and distorted your perception of the relationship with her, as a professional. If you ask me, she sounds like a narcissistic, co-dependent quack! If I were you, I'd report her and run! Find another therapist -- or better yet --- cultivate a friendship with someone and confide in them! (that's what we're supposed to do anyway!) You shouldn't be hung-up on whether or not your therapist likes you if you don't get a hug! My God! Can't you see that is ABUSE?!? You went to her to counsel. Not to molest! I know my words may seem extreme, but by "Molesting" I mean your emotions! For I think she's exploiting a client who is sharing emotional issues because she's got some of her own! Get out of there. If you stay with that, it will NOT end well... Believe you me. I've been there. I KNOW what I am talking about. That counselor is BAD! Kick her to the curb!
You need to get another therapist, because the one you have is unprofessional. Umm....think about it. She is accepting money from you (or your insurance company) and she's treating you like a girlfriend. How would you feel if your male gynocologist did this to you? Pretty creepy, right?
I'm not really against the idea of you having a personal relationship with the person who is your therapist, but not AS YOUR THERAPIST. That's just too unethical. And it's not your fault, it's your therapist's fault.
Get a new therapist.