As some of you know from my other postings, I got out of a relationship in January that ended terribly and just made my entire world crumble. My ex was a complete con artist. The relationship began with him telling me I was the best thing that ever happened to him, to me telling him I loved him after a month and him saying it back, to him asking me to move in, to meet his kid and his whole family and then telling me he wanted to marry me. All in two months. He had a lot of baggage, some of which he lied to me about- an ex wife, rehab, four year old out of wedlock, dad was gay, divorced parents, grandpa was a child molester...and I accepted him for everything, even the lies. He broke up with me in January claiming I was just like his ex who supposedly according to him had a personality disorder, telling me I was exactly like her. Granted, I was very insecure, and would get lonely and upset easily. There were some moments when I would text him how in love with him I was or text him goodnight and he wouldn't respond or I would text him and he wouldn't respond for the entire day and I would take it personally. Does that mean I was codependent and crazy like he said I was? Is it normal for people who are in love to not talk throughout the day or respond to loving text messages?
I struggled a lot these past few months actually believing I was insane like he said I was.....

I did believe he was the one and that we would get married...so the ways in which he completely turned around and treated me as though I was the worst person in the world has really really hurt me hard. And on top of that I tried to win him back and saw him once after our breakup. He slept with me and then never spoke to me again even though he said he wanted to see me again.

I struggle day to day with overcoming all of the emotional trauma from this relationship. I watched a show yesterday about cheating and the wife was crying saying she will never forget what happened even if they stay together because their fairytale is broken. That's how I've been feeling lately. I was so blinded by love and how I thought he treated me like a goddess (ignoring his lies and red flags) ...and I find despite the pain I still miss him and find it hard to imagine if I'll ever connect with someone the way I first did with him, and so intimately and so passionately.

I'm just so guarded and broken. Its been five months and I've only let myself crumble. How do I move on if I can never forget what happened to me? If I don't believe I'll find a better love again?