Oh I understand, quilters4! I just did something very similar myself. My soon-to-be-ex is apologizing for the problems we had and I think sincerely wishes he could change. But I don't see that he truly understands the depths of the issues involved or the irreparable harm that he did to our relationship. Of course, instead of detaching, I once again kept trying to explain, hoping he would "get it." Well, he broke down, admitting he doesn't get it. All I did was cause both him and me pain. Talking with him was toxic for both of us, despite my good intentions. He will have to deal with his own recovery, or not, and I cannot try to control or force it. I need to focus on my own recovery, and why I can't seem to let go and let him make his own choices, even if those choices hurt him. I know that much of this stems from just being a nice person, not wanting to see him in pain, and wanting to fix that pain. But I need to learn that his journey is for him alone, that it will be a greater good for him to learn his own lessons. I am somewhat agnostic, but It helps when I can tap into a spiritual side, when I can say the universe has lessons for him to learn and I can't interfere. Maybe some kind of mantra, something I can say to myself to remind me in the moment, will help. Anyone have additional suggestions for quilters4 and me?

At least the family dog responds to basic commands... More than what an addict in denial can do.

Let her go to her own devices... She'll only be open to change when she hits her own bottom.

Thanks everyone. Today is a new day. Last night after going over the day I realized nothing has changed with my daughter and her addictive behavior. Also how easy it is to revert to old ways of trying to fix her. However I also realized how good it is not to have the daily drama
With her since we had her move out
. Here Is to a great day!