Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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luvthtsun 03/17/2015

I am feeling bad about not telling my sister about this thing called "codependency". As I am still figuring it all out I feel I should tell them but at the same time right now they think I am crazy for breaking up and getting back together with the same guy around 12x. I feel like I want to figure things out for myself a bit first, then tell them. I have told a few of my friends and have their support. I haven't attended a CoDa meeting yet but am seriously thinking of it. When I do tell my sister she will be upset that I didn't tell her right away. Does anyone have any advice on when is a good time to let family know? Is there a good time? How did you all do it?
Thanks again! Have a good day.

11Christmases 03/17/2015

I don't think you are under any obligation to tell anyone your private business. You are entitled to have a private life.

TeelaNa 03/17/2015

I would strongly suggest you consider telling her when you feel your boundaries are securely in place. Her anger, though you don't want her to feel it, is not your responsibility. It's her choice to react how she thinks is appropriate, it doesn't mean it's appropriate. (yes, I have a sister and had to carefully consider when to share any of what I was going through with her. To make matters trickier, she is a psychologist). Sure you will deal with the consequences, but you shouldn't have to incorporate her anger into your sense of self-worth/self-esteem/etc. It's your responsibility to protect yourself emotionally. Good luck, I know it's a super challenging decision.

CoDaChrome 03/18/2015

The gift you have given yourself by admitting you have co-dependent behaviors and tendancies....is now you can release yourself from worrying about what anyone else thinks, feels or does in relation to how you take care of yourself.

We obviously can't go thru life being bulldozers about what we are doing and treating people like crap (more in the vein of BPD or Bi-Polar folks)....but because you are making a choice to take care of you, your boundaries, your needs, your mental health, your spiritual health...then you owe nothing to anyone in relation to this. Changing your habits alone is going to alert the media that you have made a proclamation about yourself and that you are finding your own person within this life, which is a healthier version of you...

Sometimes words are futile anyway, especially with those in life that trigger your codependent behavior.

You are going to find some resistance to your change, you are going to find people who disappear due to this change, you are going to find those who actually change themselves as a result....its really amazing when you start activating this side of yourself what happens....all the crap seems to start falling by the wayside.....and the people who respect you will reveal themselves!

Just do it at your pace, your timing, your need, your boundaries....its a new thing to do and feels uncomfortable because you old habits die hard, but trust this new process that it is all about you this time around ;)

Take care! and Good Luck!!

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