Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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What does a healthy relationship look like?

allicat9375
allicat9375
I have realized that I have no clue how to have a healthy adult relationship with my BF. My parents relationship I have come to realize is sort of a toxic one. I have found my self acting like my mom when I am with my BF.

I don't know how to have an adult relationship with out having emotional black mail rear it's ugly head. I find that I don't know how to talk to him without trying to control the out come.

I'm pretty new in trying to change old patterns and as I have explained to my BF it is going to take time to change old pattern that I have. I know change isn't going to happen overnight.

Any suggestions on good material to read?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have had similar issues and I was recommended to read The Road Less Travelled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth. I just ordered it, it should be here soon but it supposedly is supposed to have great reviews. Some people, depending on what they went through as a child have some what of a warped idea of what love should be. Ive learned through counseling that i am one of those people. Our relationships are not there to take away our pain of whats happened to us, they can be there to support us but you must find that wholeness feeling within yourself for no one else can ever give that to you. I know that i have had unrealistic expectations as far as what love is and should be. I'm hoping to find more answers in this book.
koolman
koolman
Honesty. That's pretty much it! Being openly honest to say "I need x from you" and the other person to say "I understand. And I need x from you"!

Like Billy Joel says, "Honesty...it's such a lonely word...everyone is so untrue."
Booky
Booky
It is our boundaries which determine every relationship, and the boundaries are always flexible.

Here is an excellent book called Boundaries, and it is from a Christian perspective.

Link = http://store.cloudtownsend.com/boundaries-softcover-book.html

And the book is available for free through the public Libraries.