so i saw a lawyer today. said he has no legal rights to the house as i knew. drawing up a document that would say i will give you this much after all if your stuff is out an not until. he told me that i was codenpendent. really? well he is a good friend also. the theory being that he will not leave up till he gets something that says that he get no money till his stuff is out. good thinking. he said that is the only way to get him out. nervous and scared about all of this but think it is the only way. that way i can decide what to do with the house with out the blackmail that he is using on me. we discussed that he is being very manipulative and he said that i was a good person and deserved better. we talked for 2 hours!!. last night i went to a christmas play with friends. so i got out and did positive things for me. feel good about that. am going to the bank next week i plan to see about a second mortage to say him off to get him out and so that i feel like i did what was right. counceling starts this friday. i pray that i can keep up my resolve and finish this and stop enabling his alcoholsim, laziness, and lack of concern for me. he reminded me of how it could be to be around positive people that work hard. i told him that his daughter has told me before that i have so much and he has nothing. whose fault is that? he lives in another world that he has made no plans for a financial future. i have grabbed the bull by the horns after years of bad relationships and went to school and can support myself. addition plan is not to let anyone tell me what he is saying about me as it is not true and he want pity and to make me look bad. this includes his daughter that i work with. the buck stops here. stop letting other influence me and what i need to do for myself or go just crazy. we should not dread coming home to a house that we own and pay for. he is set for life with his disability and medical coverage. thanks for listening