Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hi everyone--
Does anyone have the issue of not being great with money>? It's getting better, (and I blame some on my ADD, but....lol) I loved this passage from the "Language of Letting Go" today---Some parts of finances scare me to death--almost paralyzing. Day at a time--Here's the passage:
Thursday, February 5, 2015
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Financial Responsibility
We are responsible for ourselves financially.
What a frightening, grown up thought that is for many of us - taking responsibility for money and our financial affairs. For many of us, handing over responsibility for our financial affairs has been part of a codependent trade off in our relationships.
Some of our emotional dependency on others, on this tight tie that binds us to others, not in love, but in need and desperation, is directly related to financial dependency. Our fears and reluctance to take responsibility for our financial affairs can be a barrier to the freedom we're seeking in recovery.
Financial responsibility is an attitude. Money goes out to pay for necessities and luxuries. Money must come in, in order to go out. How much needs to come in to equal that which is going out?
Taxes... savings plans...appropriate spending habits that demonstrate an attitude of financial responsibility.... Part of being alive means learning to handle money. Even if we have a healthy contract with someone that allows us to depend on him or her for money, we still need to understand how money works. We still need to adopt an attitude of financial responsibility for ourselves. Even if we have a contract with someone else to provide for our financial needs, we need to understand the workings of the money earned and spent in our life.
Self-esteem will increase when we increase our sense of being financially responsible for ourselves. We can start where we are, with what we have today.
God, help me become willing to let go of my fears and reluctance to face the necessary parts of handling money responsibly in my life. Show me the lessons I need to learn about money.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie 1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher. I THINK THIS IS OK SINCE IT IS FOR RECOVERY PURPOSES!!
Does anyone have the issue of not being great with money>? It's getting better, (and I blame some on my ADD, but....lol) I loved this passage from the "Language of Letting Go" today---Some parts of finances scare me to death--almost paralyzing. Day at a time--Here's the passage:
Thursday, February 5, 2015
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Financial Responsibility
We are responsible for ourselves financially.
What a frightening, grown up thought that is for many of us - taking responsibility for money and our financial affairs. For many of us, handing over responsibility for our financial affairs has been part of a codependent trade off in our relationships.
Some of our emotional dependency on others, on this tight tie that binds us to others, not in love, but in need and desperation, is directly related to financial dependency. Our fears and reluctance to take responsibility for our financial affairs can be a barrier to the freedom we're seeking in recovery.
Financial responsibility is an attitude. Money goes out to pay for necessities and luxuries. Money must come in, in order to go out. How much needs to come in to equal that which is going out?
Taxes... savings plans...appropriate spending habits that demonstrate an attitude of financial responsibility.... Part of being alive means learning to handle money. Even if we have a healthy contract with someone that allows us to depend on him or her for money, we still need to understand how money works. We still need to adopt an attitude of financial responsibility for ourselves. Even if we have a contract with someone else to provide for our financial needs, we need to understand the workings of the money earned and spent in our life.
Self-esteem will increase when we increase our sense of being financially responsible for ourselves. We can start where we are, with what we have today.
God, help me become willing to let go of my fears and reluctance to face the necessary parts of handling money responsibly in my life. Show me the lessons I need to learn about money.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie 1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher. I THINK THIS IS OK SINCE IT IS FOR RECOVERY PURPOSES!!
I didn't think I had an issue with money until I started working on my codependency and related issues. I definitely do! I am still in a position where I am financially dependent on my husband AND my parents - yup and I'm 35. So it's something I'm working and one of my major step forward will be the day I take full responsibility for my own finances, even if that means I take out a loan to finish my education. It'll be scary too, but I want to do it now, it's getting close to time.
Peace!
The thing is that managing money is entirely based on our own personal boundaries.
As like pay a bill ASAP and do not wait for the time limit - that is a healthy boundary.
Always put more behind for SAVINGS and that too is a boundary, and if we keep that boundary then we get richer, but if we break that boundary then we make our self vulnerable in a dangerous way.
Your quote from the book =
"How much needs to come in to equal that which is going out? "
And that question is backward, because how much goes out can ONLY be based on how much comes in.
If we try to finance how much needs to be spent then we are chasing the money instead of living within our means.
My point is that yes being more financially responsible is always the right thing to do, and it is BIG huge important to our own freedom and comfort.
My husband still supports me financially but I need to live on a budget. After being sick and with my husband leaving me, I know how important it is to have savings and to protect that savings.
But it is still hard.
Thank you for reminding me to do the books today.
Hugs
I am trying to work on putting aside a few days a week to review bills, etc. I honestly make it rocket science, and I know I'm not stupid. I"ve been a single mom for over three years now, and with one in college (and one on his own) it is scary--I get a little child support from my ex (had to go to court......ughhh) but it's still not enough to pay for my daughter's off and on fees. But so far I'm doing it, and there is progress.
I just need to work through the fear.....
Five or SIX? days without returning a text from my ex....another point in progress :) Gratitude.....Glad all of you are here on this wild journey.
Susie Ormon (sp?) says that your credit score is related to your self esteem. That was an eye-opener to me.
Hugs.
That struck me as to how much I was dependent on my Family for money. On my own accord I'd be declared bankrupt several times.
"Debtors' Anonymous" ! I did go to some meetings a few years ago and they were helpful. I think I am finally starting to restore myself to a little more sanity in the "fear of financial insecurity" goes, now that I have a little more money in my lucrative job of teaching (that's a joke by the way....)
I look at addiction as represented by bobble heads--one is hit down and another pops up....lol....but aren't we SO fortunate to SEE it, to work on it, and to grow???