Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
So heading to Disney tomorrow with my son and family. I should be happy but he is so difficult to be around at times. was feeling pretty good till I talked to him the other day. he had a big job interview and is very stressed out and I called at 3 pm to c how it went. wow was he mean. asked him to call me and let me know how it went- calling u is not at the top of the list of things that I need to do after. but thanks for the support. then was trying to lighten and said well tell them u want to get closer to your mommy. total joke and he comes un glued- things like that are the reason I wont be calling u. I was so devastated and now don't want to go. he has a way of making me feel very bad about myself and am very anxious about this trip. need some words of advice or how to deal with this crap so that I am not miserable. thanks.
I don't quite see the humor with the "mommy" comment. Just kind of awkward.
I'd suggest either changing your attitude or maybe saving the money so you don't pay to have a lousy time. Maybe an apology could help?
My son is exactly like him..for my son...he has an anger disorder..."explosive" and my son when he "snaps" doesn't care if he snaps...at his mother, father, resturaunts, co-workers...its just him when he is in a bad mood. And it is childish and disrespectful.
Tell him to watch DR. Phil more...LOL...
Seriously, no matter what sons/daughters should respect their parents and have the self discipline to hold back their "anger" fits.
If it were me, I would wait for a very calm time when your alone during the trip and getting along and I would say...ya know...I didn't call to upset you the other day...I called because I'm your Mom and I was curious about your interview. Son (insert name, very effective) Try to remember I'm your Mom and don't explode your anger on me....next time just don't pick up the phone! He may end up apologizing to YOU....
My son has apologized to me in similar situations in the past when I catch him at the right moment and call him on his "attitude".
I personally wouldn't apologize to my son for HIM treating me like crap just because he was in a BAD mood.
Don't give others the power to change your mood. Nobody's worth that.
It sounds as if both of you have issues regulating your emotions. "Things like that" implies that this has happened in the past?
Maybe the happy medium would be to call and say that you feel very sorry about the last conversation and see if you two can come to some understanding before going to the "Happiest Place on Earth."
yes I don't plan to apologize to him u put it well missy2
Deli- thanks a different perspective.
I have the same problems with his sister and they are just disrespectful and it bothers me. would never had talked to parents like that and its not ok. and I don't deserve it. I did some work last night on self compassion and dealing with difficult people and feel better and more in control to not let my self esteem take a major dive and have a good time.
I'm glad to hear that you did a turnaround so you can enjoy your vacation! : )
However, if both your children have anger issues, maybe it's time to see if you may have contributed to that. (Or their father.)
Maybe the trip can start the healing.