Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

3,331 Members
10,657 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Codependency Support Group

The Root of My Problem

PAJimbo
PAJimbo

15 years ago I found an ACOA group then a CODA group and finally found some relief in life and from alcohol.


I even put myself out there in the dating world and found someone to be very codependent with.  It worked pretty good for several years because we lived 100 miles apart and had our own careeers and lives and saw each other only weekends.


Long story short as the years continued to pass we moved in together and things got worse because I was fully blossomed back into my codependency and then I relapsed on alcohol and now 3 DUIs later, I'm alone, and dealing with the consequences.


Meeting attendance sure, but still real lonely, and here where I live, there's not much of a LGBT community to have any friends, especially sober or recovering ones.


So, I asked google and here I am.


mirandac
mirandac
What i was told by a very wise woman
On here. First deal with your addiction
Then the codependency then the adult
Child issues. Not saying every one does
It that way.

My ex was my addiction. He was a dry
Drunk and me a codependent no wonder
The marriage became toxic and ended. I
Do attend alanon, Coda and ACA now. He
Goes to AA. It was a little Too late in the
game for us.

Addicts are codependents too, some more
Of a counter dependent type like my ex.
I believe most people in 12 step groups
Are a codependent of one kind or another.

Sorry for your relapse and the 3 oui’s. Thats
Going to take awhile to get squared away.

Welcome to our little group, hugs
urbangardener
urbangardener
Stay here, read, participate (respond to other people's posts) and keep going to meetings. What Mirandac wrote seems true in my life, too. I think we have to work on us to improve whatever needs improving so that we can attract better partners. Where I live there are some churches that have LBGT groups, but this is a big city. My church has a codependency group (not CODA or AA) that many of the LBGT members go. The CODA and AA are across the street in a non-profit that is funded by my church. So look around, maybe you will find more of a connection and maybe it won't be too far of a drive.
PAJimbo
PAJimbo
thanks mirandac and urbangardener...

I am doing the right things - suiting up and showing up!

And as for looking around...small town USA here takes about 5 minutes to look around...but you know what urban gardener? I grew up on a farm and after college RAN to DC and then NYC...now in my late 50's I kinda like it slower...and truth be told even this town is a bit congested for me - guess I'm returning to my roots and where I belong...just had to do like Dorothy (lol) and try my luck on the yellow brick road in ruby slippers!