I think you are very brave to reach out for help. My husband hates being around people he doesn't know, so he didn't go to Al Anon. But, he has been so great about reading stuff online and trying to understand addiction. Al Anon will help you to know how to protect yourself, which is most important to your emotional and mental health. I think you are amazing, and I think your husband probably will too.

You dont need to speak until you are ready
To do so. I cried and listened for a long time,
Its nothing unusual.

There are three daily Readers to purchase if
you want. Courage to change is best, its runs
About $14.

Tell your H you are going for your own issues,
Its not really about your qualifier more about
You. Most of us grew up in it and then Married
into it so we literally have a lifetime to recover
From. Say whatever is best for you.

Do not discuss It, my ex was going to AA i only
said if it was a Good meeting or not.

My biggest Qualifier is my mother who is highly
Dysfunctional. Good luck HUGS

Thanks y'all. For some reason I'm already crying. It feels like a relief... like a pressure lifted. I'm so tired of being strong.

What's a qualifier?

Your alcoholic usually, its all the same stuff in
Essense. Codependency, addictions, family of
Origin issues, dysfunction from the disease.

My ex has been dry for 30 years just not working
A program until the last few years. There is just so
Much to learn about us and the disease of alcoholism
And how it effects everything it touches.

Most in alanon are codependents even though its
More unspoken than say in a CODA meeting. Suffering
From and healing from codependency is a lot of work.

The principles are the same retraining and reparenting
Ourselves. Learning how to set boundaries, how to
Stay on your own side of the street and learn to self focus
and grow spiritually. Learning about self love and self
Acceptance. Lots to learn and absorb. HUGS