Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Here's something that I thought might help; it's from Melody Beattie's "Beyond Codependency. Pg. 18, as she quotes Timmer Cermak concerning Post Traumatic Stress Diaorder:
"Finally, in discussing this syndrome, Cermack talks about survivor guilt. 'Whenever they begin to experiencethe fullness that life has to offer, they immediately feel as if they are betraying those who never had a chance.' He's describing people who survived a war that others didn't. 'It seems somehow wrong to go away and be healthy when those who are left behind are still suffering.'"
Leaving 'sick' or 'toxic' friends behind can trigger this guilt when you're trying to free yourself from your codependent behaviors. I find it to be a very difficult feeling to overcome, the guilt that is. Afterall, codependents are famous for not wanting to be accused of hurting other's feelings, by sacrificing their own. I'm going to have to be very strong in the future when this ugly little monster raises it's head again!
"Finally, in discussing this syndrome, Cermack talks about survivor guilt. 'Whenever they begin to experiencethe fullness that life has to offer, they immediately feel as if they are betraying those who never had a chance.' He's describing people who survived a war that others didn't. 'It seems somehow wrong to go away and be healthy when those who are left behind are still suffering.'"
Leaving 'sick' or 'toxic' friends behind can trigger this guilt when you're trying to free yourself from your codependent behaviors. I find it to be a very difficult feeling to overcome, the guilt that is. Afterall, codependents are famous for not wanting to be accused of hurting other's feelings, by sacrificing their own. I'm going to have to be very strong in the future when this ugly little monster raises it's head again!
this is soooo me! I dont want to hurt ANYONE but at the same time all I do is save everyone else and hurt myself!
I noticed that I could relate to this feeling while reading the book , and can finally put a term to the feeling .
I have major issues with this situation , my whole life . I am going thru it right now , I notice myself feeling sorry for my ex , I feel selfish and mean for cutting him out , esp. when he has offered things and his help ( i see thru him, he just is using it to get a foot thru the door to come back for his own comfort and security ) , and I feel bad not being giving back .
I feel this way with friends too . i have a hard time seperating from the drama and putting boundries and feeling good about it , I always feel terrible guilt .
i am now engaged to a wonderful man who truly loves me. but i can't seem to rid myself of the guilt i feel when i think about the fact that "K" will get out, be homeless, penniless, and if the past is anything to compare with his upcoming release, he will probably head straight to the liquor store. i choose happiness, peace, and love in my life and he is not capable of that right now. all i can do is leave him in God's hands and move on...but i still feel SO guilty.
"Language of Letting Go" is my Bible now...
hugs