Hi, I would like to extend my support. I too suffer. I just realized.
congrats on your breakthrough.
I don't know enough about the steps to offer my advice but there are some really helpful and supportive people that can give your their personal insight!

Thank you. It feels good to have this break through that i discoverd on my own.

Good ur ablein to recognise. I wuldam say work on ur needs . And slowly embed in steps.

I think that the 12-Steps are very important. I am on my first step, but I want to go through all of the steps.I would work on the steps first, and then, explore how to get my needs met.


I have the same problem as you. My emotional needs were never met by my Dad or my husband. I am divorcing my husband. He started it, and I'M GOING TO FINISH IT!!!!!

I wish you luck working on the 12 steps as well. I am going to start that as well and get to gether with some of the women in the local CODA group. I need to reach out to them outside the meetings to help me out.
I wish you luck on your divorce, I hope you find one day what you were missing. You are a strong women!

I am just now starting to work the CoDA steps. Today I started working and reading CoDependent No More by Melody Beattie. I am to the characteristics list. How overwhelming. Never realized so many facets. I too have the same problem. My emotional needs have never been met, so sad at my age. Our mother left us when we were small and our dad married a horrible witch. We grew up too fast and in a horrible alcoholic and dysfunctional environment. My first husband not only was abusive, physically and verbally, but sexually abused my children. After 18 years of, as I see now, such horrible codependent patterns, had the strength to leave. What did I do, got into another dysfunctional relationship. Now I see clearly how my emotional needs were never met. I can see where this marriage will probably end as well.

Stay strong and continue with CoDA. This site is soooo great. Glad to be a part of it.

Hi, I would also like to give you my support. I recently realized it also. I'm very happy you had that breakthrough. Not sure enough about the 12 steps but will soon be learning.

I DO NOT SUFFER FROM CODEPENDENCE. I COPE WITH IT. IT IS THE GREATEST BLESSING OF MY LIFE. WITHOUT IT, I WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE THE WORK UPON MYSELF THAT HAS BEEN NECESSARY FOR ME TO ACTUALIZE MYSELF AS A LOVING, LIVING, HONEST, FEARLESS HUMAN BEING. AND I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS. I WILL BE HAPPY TO HELP ANYONE WHO ASKS.

BUT YOU GOTTA ASK.

BE WELL.

Bob great perspective.
So how do you do it?

Wow, it is a blessing. If we never knew about codependency, we would go through life without the discovery of becoming the real person we are.

Bob, thanks.

yes we have to love ourselves we love our children so we must love our inner children the same as we love our children right im all about the self love

My therapist says that I project my codependency into the most healthy outlet possible - my work. I work with special needs kids, and they DO need me, so I get "fed" that way.

But, I too, struggle with my codependent traits in relationships. If we are not vigilant in our awareness, we can easily slip into unhealthy situations. Try really hard to heighten your awareness by paying attention to your instincts and intuition.... if something feels "off", it is. Your inner self knows best... it's our brain that messes up us CD, by justifying unhealthy behaviors of others.

Self awareness is KEY to surviving and conquering codependency.

I am soo glad to see that my post has helped people. I appreciate the feed back thatnk you everyone. Sometimes it is hard to see what is really going on until something triggers those feelings and they come out. I I am learning how to deal with it and how to be constructive with my time and energy.

Both.

First, look for a man as a FRIEND rather than a lover. Sounds like you just need someone to listen to you.

Hello-! I'm a man, and I'm here.