No,you're definitely not alone in what you're talking about! I've always had a hard time standing up for myself in fear of losing a realtionship! I'm finally learning to stand up for myself since there are times when it's really neccessary to do so! I've usually been taken advantage of,which I've grown very tired of,so I have to work on changing how I handle myself! Hope you're having a Great Weekend!

You certainly are not alone in that.

The best way to be nicely assertive so it does not lose the relationship is by telling other people our feelings.

If you do not like something then nicely say it, and explain why you do not like it, and then the other people will know how you feel.

And tell when you like some thing too, as we do not want our feelings to always be negative.

It really does work and usually it works wonders, because our words really do matter, and once some thing gets said then it is out there for all to know.

Say "no" in a nice way, because a nice "no" is still a no.

oh yes, I spent a lot of my life being like that...going along or agreeing with the other person because I was afraid they would leave and then later resenting the fact that I dishonored my self and my feelings around whatever was going on. Best to be open and honest and what will be...wil be. If the relationship can't handle your opinion bout something , really..is it worth it?
hugs
rick

You are definitely not alone in this! One of the most powerful things I've been able to do for myself (with most everyone except my husband...still mountains of work to do there), is to start saying *I* am responsible. I am responsible for everything to do with me. Everything I do, everything I feel, how I react. With those words right there, no one is taking advantage of me. So, maybe I am doing something I don't really want to be doing, but *I* have made the choice...I could have chosen differently. At times I have chosen differently & for the most part, no one has batted an eye!

Now, there is one person in particular where this change in my has altered the dynamic of the relationship. We used to see each other very regularly. I've decided I have a right to some input. I'm not freaking out or anything, I'm just choosing to set dates & times that are convenient to me & not allowing the other person to alter our plans...which she has done EVERY time I've tried to set a social engagement with her over the past 18 years. I've been saying no to the changes & we have only seen each other twice in the past year. I find it hilarious that she is so controlling. All these years I hung on because I thought I had something to learn about myself if this person was pissing me off so much. What I came to realize is that what I needed to learn was I'd had enough ; D.

With my husband it's more difficult because we live together & the bond is long & deep. I'm working at it though.