Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I am so tired of the continuous strain I place upon myself in order to appear perfect to the outside world and to myself. I totally understand that perfection is impossible to achieve but the behavior is born out of emotion and not the intellect. As I see it, trying to be perfect is a symptom of controlling behavior.
Today I began a "surrender" journal to me help dissect my perfectionist and controlling behavior in order to get to the root of the what's driving that behavior. This process has help me breakdown what I'm doing and why.
My husband has a habit that drives me crazy. He tries but can't seem to be able to break it. I've been trying to years to get him to stop and yet I won't give up. The only one that is suffering here is me. So I broke down the journal into sections: Who/What am I trying to control?, Why does it bother me?, Is it true?, What's gained if I control?, What's gained if I surrender?, What's at the core of this?.
What I found out today by dissecting his habit and why I'm responding to it was that I found out that the story I have to support my behavior isn't even true. And I was able to trace my behavior back to my mother. It was always her way! Period. I'm modeling her behavior. Eeuuuw. I think I might have finally found peace around the whole thing. :-)
Today I began a "surrender" journal to me help dissect my perfectionist and controlling behavior in order to get to the root of the what's driving that behavior. This process has help me breakdown what I'm doing and why.
My husband has a habit that drives me crazy. He tries but can't seem to be able to break it. I've been trying to years to get him to stop and yet I won't give up. The only one that is suffering here is me. So I broke down the journal into sections: Who/What am I trying to control?, Why does it bother me?, Is it true?, What's gained if I control?, What's gained if I surrender?, What's at the core of this?.
What I found out today by dissecting his habit and why I'm responding to it was that I found out that the story I have to support my behavior isn't even true. And I was able to trace my behavior back to my mother. It was always her way! Period. I'm modeling her behavior. Eeuuuw. I think I might have finally found peace around the whole thing. :-)
I am sitting here completely frustrated and befuddled because of someone else....and part of it is because I have perfection syndrome as well. It didn't even dawn on me until right now, reading your post, how that perfectionism is bleeding over into trying to control others......with a little 'tish of PMS to really throw me over the edge!
E gads....what an unbecoming behavior.....well glad I just became aware of it.....*sigh*......perfectionism is a b*tch. I remember this one time when I was in my early 20's, I was literally sitting on the ground of my apartment because I was not going to have a "so so" couch, so I was sitting on the floor on pillows until I had the PERFECT couch......I had other people sitting on the floor.....What the!!?? Definitely NOT Martha Stewart going on back then... I am seriously laughing so hard at myself right now!
BTW your 'Eeuuw' also literally made me loose it laughing!~ This all made me really let gooooooo of my moment.....Thank YOU for that! I carry on today with this new awareness.....Thank you for that as well, it was a true gift for me today!