Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
my sister has cancer and is having alot of problems. seems to be going south slowly. my other sister get really drunk and starts crying about it and get irritated if others dont comfort her. this week i took her to radation and we had a good time and another friend went. i thought she looked good. well blood work showed anemia. so now i have heard from healthy sister is -i told you something was wrong with her, she is dying and lets all quit kidding ourselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i did not want to stop there last night cause i knew the situation would be like this but had to pick up SO. healthy sister is driving everyone crazy with crying and talking about it constantly. this is one of the problems i have with the whole thing, my son had open heart surgery ( 3 times). the last time he got a staph infection in a valve and for 15 months we watched and wait for the surgery. these 2 sister were very unsupportive and partied on. they did not come over or anything. one even said- well you knew something like this would happen. so i am resentful- have alot less resentment than i did before. so a mixed bag. i dont want to be around them alot and dont feel like giving her a shoulder to sob on as there coldness and lack of concern for my son and i was really over the top. this sister is always right, would never hurt anyone elses feeling, is a caring and loveable person-just ask her and she will tell you. but i know the real person and the seflishness and narcistic and overblown ego that she has. so i want to avoid her for my sanity and spend time with sick sister as much as can-more when the other is not there. any comments welcomed
I understand the dynamic, as I am between two sisters, as well. One is the "boss of the universe" (the oldest) and the other is passive/aggressive and dishonest when she doesn't really need to be. She just lies because it's how she operates. To avoid the oldest's WRATH, the youngest becomes her "lap bitch" catering to her every need. I don't play thier sick reindeer games. I have individual and separate relationships with them, as we are TOXIC when we all get together. I don't let either sister manipulate me, so they are PISSED at me about 99% of the time. OH WELL. I have peace in my life, and it's DUE to my refusal to get off the dysfunction wagon. Keep us posted. I pray for your sisters speedy recovery. I encourage you to step and be there for the sister in more urgent NEED, at the moment. the other one sounds like a hot mess.
I used to care for my sisters kids an entire decade before I had my own. I loved every minute of them and always assumed my sisters would be there for me when I had my own. Although they love my son, they are conveniently NOT AVAILABLE to babysit, or take him for the weekend. It's not always even or fair. That's why we have to care for ourselves and our own, and draw the boundary lines, baby! BE BLESSED!