I say that this is just a hard and cruel world where real friends are very hard to find for anyone.

May I ask in what form your approval seeking takes? I don't know that "seeking approval" will in itself chase off friends, but it could be the way in which you are doing it that creates discomfort in others. Can you describe some of what you feel you do that chases friends away?

I will give you a example, a group of people will be talking. I have a habit were I try to change the conversation to be about me.

hmmm...that doesn't sound like seeking approval as much as wanting to be noticed. You seem to be aware of what you are doing that may turn people off. Maybe try an experiment...have lunch with 2 friends (because it's usually only an hour or so and 2 friends because there will be more diverse conversation than with just 1). Anyway...observe the people and how they interact during conversation without interjecting. Think about what they are saying in relation to themselves and not yourself. If your mind wanders off and you begin thinking of a story relating to you, gently acknowledge the thought and let it go without saying anything and return to thinking about the person speaking. It's a form of meditation, really. Acknowledge the thought and let it go.

I hope this helps...you'll have to let me know if you try it and how it works! Don't be too hard on yourself while trying though...it takes practice to be a good listener, but it's well worth the effort!

I will try that thanks

I understand where you're at. A lot of the time I will talk about myself because I feel more confident discussing something I know, (me). LOL I don't always feel as comfortable talking about things I'm not as familiar about.

absolutely!! i think it's admirable that you are inquiring about this.

since it is a behavior you can learn new behavior.

approval seeking is the same thing as rejection avoidance.

http://www.livebrazen.com

also some books i like regarding this topic.

disease to please--harriet braiker
i need your love--is that true? byron katie
i thought it was just me--brene brown
the gift of imperfection--brene brown

also brene brown has a great TED talk on youtube regarding vulnerability.

keep us posted on what you find out if you decide to look into any of this....i'm a recovering approval seeking addict too.