Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

3,331 Members
10,657 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Codependency Support Group

Saw my co-dependent

scar2
scar2
Feeling low today. I went to see my co-dedependent after 3 months away. Basically, I went for some closure even though a lot of my friends said not to go. I found out he's been seeing somebody for a couple of months now. It broke my heart even though I've been hoping that this would happen so I'll have a good reason not to see him. I was the one who pulled away because he's an alcoholic/drug-addict but the news still hurt. I know that things will get better because I know I did the right thing. I actually have a good week planned. I'm going to see a musical & then see some professional tennis - things that I put in the back-burner when I was taking care of him. My heart is broken but I know it won't stay this way forever. I just wanted to share & see if I can get some positive feedback.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry you are in pain. You will get better over time. It won't be easy and you'll encounter set backs. The trick is to try and make each day special for some reason and to put the focus on a positive mind frame. Easy? No. Worth it? Totally!
deleted_user
deleted_user
It occurs to me that our heads can't fool our hearts. In your head you know that you've made the right decision but your heart is trying to show you different. Your head definately knows best in this case. an addict will always have someone in tow ready to accomodate their addiction, I wouldn't take it too personally, he will never love anyone or anything more than he loves his drug of choice. Look forward scar2, you have a much better future ahead. it's a new and exciting path, well done for taking care of yourself. all the best x
hbgdaystar
hbgdaystar
Most of us dread to know that our partners have moved on easy or was cheating on us before we walked out... Yes i had same problems.. its like i ignored every sign and every detail and start to beat myself going into circles inbut my head ... why me? Wht did i do wrong? We just need one final confirmation ... so on so forth .... we need to understand is the choice to rationalise abd move away from what is wrong is the best decision ever and in a long run you will see it.

Like daisydip said people who are addicts will always be in love with drug of their choice...

On the other hand i appreciate you looking after yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi,

I am sorry, too. I agree with what others have said, even if we are making a good decision for self, it is tough to let go, sometimes. I hope you can believe that you are doing the right thing for yourself, because you are choosing to step away from the chaos and upset of living with his issues.

Hugs,

Shar
scar2
scar2
Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it. I've been feeling low & obsessive but I know in time I will feel better. The responses have been helpful. It wasn't all bad seeing him. I did make amends with him for the things I did wrong in the relationship & he kinda did also. I will try very hard to focus on me now.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can so feel your pain but I have to tell you how impressed I am by the fact that you are forging through and doing what you know is best. As you said, your heart won't stay broken and I can personally attest to the fact that you'll be a better person in the end for having lived through this. Focus on you now and the healing WILL come. I wish you all the best!