Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I'm an alcoholic and through working the steps discovered I have co-dependent issues. I've been sober for 18 mos working a solid program of recovery.
During the last 12 mos my wife had an affair with a friend of mine and the husband of her friend. She said it was just an emotional affair, who knows, she's lied after being caught several times. Caught her friend the wife and then me recently when I had a gut feeling(HP)something wasn't right. Found she's continually been talking with this guy and texting on a daily basis.
I gave her several opportunities to end the relationship if she wanted to continue ours. She said she would and continue to communicate with him. She said it was an obession and compulsion and a need(temp fix). Then she would be self absorbed, decietful(sp) and lie.
Spiritual loss of values.....
Well, I sort legal advise and set some boundaries. Divorce is not a fear for me. I do have 2 kids (12 & 10) and been married for 13 years. I told her I was pursuing a divorce and she went into a melt down and told me it was over for good. She needed help. She's going to a therapist and started Alanon. What do I do?
During the last 12 mos my wife had an affair with a friend of mine and the husband of her friend. She said it was just an emotional affair, who knows, she's lied after being caught several times. Caught her friend the wife and then me recently when I had a gut feeling(HP)something wasn't right. Found she's continually been talking with this guy and texting on a daily basis.
I gave her several opportunities to end the relationship if she wanted to continue ours. She said she would and continue to communicate with him. She said it was an obession and compulsion and a need(temp fix). Then she would be self absorbed, decietful(sp) and lie.
Spiritual loss of values.....
Well, I sort legal advise and set some boundaries. Divorce is not a fear for me. I do have 2 kids (12 & 10) and been married for 13 years. I told her I was pursuing a divorce and she went into a melt down and told me it was over for good. She needed help. She's going to a therapist and started Alanon. What do I do?
I had an affair while I was married to my former husband. While it was 100% my responsibility for the choice I made to be unfaithful, it was also not done in a vaccum. My husband was not committed emotionally to me and I was alone, unheard and unnourished in that relationship. He was also a practicing alcoholic and was not able to find recovery for himself, and I eventually left him.
Looking back, I feel certain that if both of us had been in recovery, and each of us had been willing to take 100% of responsibility for our individual choices that led to the demise of that marriage, I think with some good counseling, we might have been able to forgive ourselves and each other, and enjoyed a long and happy relationship.
I know a number of couples in recovery that have saved their marriages by both people being willing to look at their part in the loss of trust, betrayal, hurtful behavior and poor communication. Many of them have one member of the couple in both AA and Alanon, with the other member other in AA. Also, my current husband and I are really growing in our relationship by attending a couples support group, that supports marriage and advocates shutting the back door to leaving, so the problems get addressed that are the result of damage from family of origin issues.
The fact that she is getting help is a positive sign; I think going right to the bottom line of divorce without examing your roles, both separately and together would be opening the door possibly to a repeat performance in your next relationship.
You are worth the effort. Try your best.......