Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hello all,
It's been a few years since I've been on this board, but I'm back with some pretty strong codependent behaviors.
I've been feeling anxious and depressed lately and I can't quite put my finger on why. When I felt like this in the past, it was because I realized my first marriage was terrible and I had to do something about it. So I've looked at my current marriage - our 4 year wedding anniversary and 7 year dating anniversary is coming up - and talked and talked with my husband over certain things that need a little work, but that doesn't seem to be where the problem is. We've had some good talks and I know that for a little while, the relationship was feeling fragile to me. We're both a little out of sorts lately, so I think it's hard for us to comfort one another, but in general, we are solid. I'm not going anywhere, he's not going anywhere. I know that.
But I'm still looking to him to make it better. I'm leaning on him so hard and everything he does, I judge in my head. Like his mood is a direct reflection of our relationship. I did this with my alcoholic ex. I didn't used to be this way with my current husband, but suddenly I am - which sucks because he is a sensitive, passionate man with a whole range of emotions. I'm so concerned over every little interaction that it is making me nuts! I'm either anxious and overwhelmed or just exhausted and sad. I have my own business to run, I have tons of activities and people to be with, but I can't get excited about anything. I'm just scared. Like something is about to happen. Like something is terribly wrong. It feels like an awful relapse, but I'm not sure how to get out of it. I'm reading, I'm trying to just rest, be nice to myself and take care of myself. But I just can't seem to shake this. I've been through a lot of transitions lately and accomplished some huge goals. Things should be settling down and getting into the groove, now.
Anyone else have trouble with relapse when everything seems to be going alright?
It's been a few years since I've been on this board, but I'm back with some pretty strong codependent behaviors.
I've been feeling anxious and depressed lately and I can't quite put my finger on why. When I felt like this in the past, it was because I realized my first marriage was terrible and I had to do something about it. So I've looked at my current marriage - our 4 year wedding anniversary and 7 year dating anniversary is coming up - and talked and talked with my husband over certain things that need a little work, but that doesn't seem to be where the problem is. We've had some good talks and I know that for a little while, the relationship was feeling fragile to me. We're both a little out of sorts lately, so I think it's hard for us to comfort one another, but in general, we are solid. I'm not going anywhere, he's not going anywhere. I know that.
But I'm still looking to him to make it better. I'm leaning on him so hard and everything he does, I judge in my head. Like his mood is a direct reflection of our relationship. I did this with my alcoholic ex. I didn't used to be this way with my current husband, but suddenly I am - which sucks because he is a sensitive, passionate man with a whole range of emotions. I'm so concerned over every little interaction that it is making me nuts! I'm either anxious and overwhelmed or just exhausted and sad. I have my own business to run, I have tons of activities and people to be with, but I can't get excited about anything. I'm just scared. Like something is about to happen. Like something is terribly wrong. It feels like an awful relapse, but I'm not sure how to get out of it. I'm reading, I'm trying to just rest, be nice to myself and take care of myself. But I just can't seem to shake this. I've been through a lot of transitions lately and accomplished some huge goals. Things should be settling down and getting into the groove, now.
Anyone else have trouble with relapse when everything seems to be going alright?
Could this be true for you? If so...what do you do in your "recovery" for times of great stress? Do you usually go on vacations or something? Or do something spiritual? To regain your center you may need something stronger than our daily or weekly self-care.
Oh, another thing to consider...since you're obviously busy, was there something you were doing everyday that you had to let slip the last week or couple weeks even? Such as daily meditations? Perhaps you let it slip too long and need to return to it now?
Just some thoughts. Good luck!
To me, it doesn't sound like a full on relapse anyway. It just sounds like the normal weather pattern of thoughts and emotions. Sometimes we get some thoughts and feelings we don't like and we just have to try and accept them to move past them. The phrase 'what you resist persists' comes to mind.