Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
In meetings people talk about their "picker" being broken. I've only had one pick (and that ended), I think that my "picker" is probably not broken, just inexperienced--I'd rather not conclude it's broken.
I posted a few weeks ago about being attracted to someone in meetings, there was a series of events that somewhat "cosmically" and "comically" led to me being attracted to her. Anyways... I didn't talk to her for a few weeks and felt confident in that, then of course I made obvious my attraction to her (I felt I wanted to and needed to to be geniune to myself), I did choose subtle ways.
However, now she is dancing around my mind like some kind of angelic goregous God-send ballerina with emotional wherewithal and the truth is I can most likely not have a relationship with her. I am trying to accept the fact I am attracted to her at the basic levels and cease the fantisizing, and also accept myself (I have kids, she does not). I could never ask someone to accept me, they would just have to do that naturally on their own.
I'm not victimizing here either, but accepting the fact that my previous relationship ending is resulting in some vulnerabilities but also the fact that for several years no real attention was given to me. I know nobody can fullfill me, I know it.
I feel powerless over this attraction. I confess it. Though my mind changes as to what to do, I want to accept myself and grow.
I posted a few weeks ago about being attracted to someone in meetings, there was a series of events that somewhat "cosmically" and "comically" led to me being attracted to her. Anyways... I didn't talk to her for a few weeks and felt confident in that, then of course I made obvious my attraction to her (I felt I wanted to and needed to to be geniune to myself), I did choose subtle ways.
However, now she is dancing around my mind like some kind of angelic goregous God-send ballerina with emotional wherewithal and the truth is I can most likely not have a relationship with her. I am trying to accept the fact I am attracted to her at the basic levels and cease the fantisizing, and also accept myself (I have kids, she does not). I could never ask someone to accept me, they would just have to do that naturally on their own.
I'm not victimizing here either, but accepting the fact that my previous relationship ending is resulting in some vulnerabilities but also the fact that for several years no real attention was given to me. I know nobody can fullfill me, I know it.
I feel powerless over this attraction. I confess it. Though my mind changes as to what to do, I want to accept myself and grow.
Im not sure if I would base my desire to be with someone on whether I or they have kids because the right person might have them or not depending on the situation. Some people have had no children and yet have come from large families and are very good with kids etc. :-)
I feel the attraction has decreased, most of it was conceptual and some of it was probably old triggers and patterns. I accept things as they have progressed.
She is very solid and I appreciate it. We hung out a few times, and she stated her interests were friends only... that wasn't the news I wanted to hear first.. but I am "ok" with that now. The relationship feels valuable and healthy to me and I feel able to deliver.
Somehow this is all part of my Step 3.
Hugs.