Everyone tries to please people. It's human nature to reach out for acceptance. Try to think about how it doesn't really matter what they think of you and how they're not better than you are so there's no real need to go out of your way to please them. It should be mutual attempt.

I do that as well, but I'm constantly trying to please my boyfriend and keep him happy. I know it's hard.

Im here if you need to talk. =)

Ditto MeghanElise and I try to think of what this person (or these people)
will mean to me on my death bed. Maybe it's when I turned the big 50 that I began to realize that I've spent allot of time wondering about
things and people that will not matter one bit before I take my last breath - really - just stop and think about that. If you are concerned about
your family - wife - kids or those people who are significant in your life
according to YOU, then the rest of the group deserves your
pleasantries / courtesies but NO MORE than that and only as much
as YOU chose to give. Not preaching but I spent way too much time being hung up on this topic and hate to see someone else suffer needlessly. You matter!

I am not sure what causes this people pleasing behavior. However, one thing I am learning about not engaging in this behavior is to think what really works for me, instead of keeping someone else's best interest in mind first. I am learning that no matter what I do, I'll never get other people's approval, so its tiring and exhausting trying to be their people pleaser. I need to work on my self esteem and self worth, because the most important in this world I need to have a healthy realtionship is with me and if I can think of my best interest in mind that would mean showing love to myself, rather then think of all others first instead of me.... Just some thoughts....

Codependency in its unrecovered state, in my experience, is a lack of balance in relationships with myself and others.

A desire to please people is not codependent. Putting the need to please others above my need to have my own approval of my thoughts and actions is the only time I get into trouble.

If we did not want to please others, we would harm people, hurt ourselves, break laws, breach social courtesies and become completely self-centered and isolated from one another.

Programs that address addiction or dysfunctional behavior arising out of codependency create an environment where I can start living in integrity with my own moral codes, behaviors and values. When I operate from a place of loving myself, my Higher Power (whom I call God) and others, I learn how to balance a healthy desire to be pleasing to others, with the need to be in integrity with myself and my own needs. Balance is the key.

Thanks everybody

I am the same way, to the point where I subliminate my thoughts/feelings/personality sometimes in order to maintain romantic relationships (or friendships) with people. I'll people please and mold myself to whatever fits them. It's hard to undo, especially when it's a pattern, but the other's are right. It's natural to want to be liked and accepted. Just remember to be true to yourself, and your own personal intergrity too.

Whew! I have this exact same problem, as does many people. But mine goes the extent that if my hair is curly or if I am in a pair of sweats I wont go outside to even get the mail. And its not because I am high maintence because I'm not, prior military, lol, however its because other peoples thoughts about me have consumed me. I have been working on this exact issue for about a year now. I know affirmations have helped a lot. And simple things like, when I go to wal-mart I try to not to look in every mirror I pass, if I have a stray hair out of place or if my shirt colar is not just right what should it matter, what is the odds of me running into these people again, and even if I do, how often are they seriously thinking, did you see that strand of hair out of place on that womans head. lol. I have just tried to realize that I can not and will not please everyone and if I am trying so hard to please everyone else I am not pleasing myself, and at the end of the day it is my view of me that matters. Not everyone elses. It is hard but it can be over come. :)