Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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Shell... 05/10/2020

Hello Everyone...Im new to the group. I was Diagnosed as Codependent. I initially refused to accept it. I told my Therapist all the things that was bothering me and how unappreciated I felt. It was a slap in my face to find out I was part of the problem. I had no boundaries. I was the "Yes" lady even when I wanted badly to say "No"....I was exhausted. Im learning to step back. Now I feel lost. I neglected myself. Im now trying to learn what I need...what do I enjoy. One day at a time...

Anna1212 05/10/2020

sounds like you are on the right track. I struggle with some of the same issues. I think saying no gets easier with practice. it's about us not them. good book for codependency and people pleasing is "when pleasing you is killing me" by les carter.
hugs. w

Shell... 05/10/2020

Thank you....Im definitely going to pick up that book

finallyawakenow 05/10/2020

Hi shell, I have somewhat recently realized that I am codependent as well. Although, without knowing this I have been working on it through the process of learning how to love myself over the last few years. It’s a slow journey and so wonderful at the same time. The first year was hard with all the raw feelings flooding up and the second year was kind of healing from that:) now I feel grounded and the path is clearer.
Finding out about coda was a big piece of my personal puzzle. Seems a little crazy that I didn’t understand what my behavior was telling me all these years but I’m thankful to have found this piece. Glad you are too.
I ‘diagnosed’ myself. I’m not sure what my reaction would have been if I had been told I was.....? I imagine resistance would be present.

Shell... 05/11/2020

Thank you so much for your positive words.

runnindog 05/13/2020

Thank you for sharing, Shell, and for the replies. Think maybe I need to read that book as well.

chronicheadache 05/18/2020

Oh boy, do I understand feeling underappreciated and saying yes when I really want to say no. And then I get SO angry when I do something I don't want to do and just go into a resentful-fueled rage and hate everyone. It does suck that this is something that this is something codependents do to themselves. It's weird. I think everything is my fault and I'm responsible for keeping everyone happy and I failed if I don't. At the same time, I lash out and blame everyone else for my own unhappiness, when like you learned with your therapist, I am part of the problem because I don't speak up or set boundaries. I guess we misplace where our responsibilities are, but it seems like you are realizing where your responsibilities should lie, so GOOD ON YOU ^_^ It's huge that you realize you neglected yourself, and you want to work on that. That's a great start and I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

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