Yup. I've felt that way.

Welcome to the group, Brandi!

Thanks- i just really am in a situation that i can't get out of- my friends think co depency isn't real and they won't talk to me about this- this guy also has co dependency, a stress disorder and many other problems and yet i love him- why me lord? i don't need to love him and i'm getting pulled back in ! ahhhhhhh! help !

hey, im new here too.you need to take a step back and take care of yourself.focus on you.there are some codepndency books and meetings that might help you.yes i have felt this way.i have had to put my whole relationship in God's hands.i'm still working on my recovery from codependancy.some days i feel as though i have come so far and others it feels like im stuck.at first focusing on yourself will feel so selfish,but it's not. i hope the best for you.God bless you.

Hey Brandi...I'm new on here too, and trust me you are not alone. Been there so many times..even almost let it ruin my life, my kids lives and everything. Don't stop trying and know that things will get better when you are ready to take control of your life and realize that no one can control his but him. Here if you need someone to talk to...Karen

Thanks Karen- might just take u up on that u should be afraid- very afraid - i will type and type and type and u will be like omg i shouldn't have asked....

LOL...no I won't I'll just type and type and type back..Ending my last very very codependent unhealthy relationship was one of the most difficult things I have ever done, especially when I realized what it had done to me as a person. It makes you feel like you are a failure as a person. What you need more than anything is someone to talk to who "gets it'

it took me a while to realize that i don't care what others think.you need to take care of yourself.no body should judge you for wanting to help yourself,they shouldn't judge you at all.if these people love you they should support you.

The one thing I had to realize is that I am powerless over people. You can not control him as a person and you are not responsible for his feelings. It took me forever to get that. It's an unhealthy relationship and you need better. I know it's sooo hard to let go. You worry what is going to happen to him, how is he going to survive, etc, etc,. But ask yourself what is going to happen to you if you don't get out of this. Pray for strength.

Yes i feel your pain to...been there so many times..they call it a cycle...i feel like if i leave i will die but if i stay i will die also...the delusion is that somehow some way i will beat the game..that they will walk through the door and give me exactly what i think i need..the fear of being alone paralized me to the point that i would stay in the relationship even tho it was killing me...what worked for me was to reach out locally and find a support group of people that understand where your at..realizing your not alone is key and then identifying the problem is even better, and then working on the solution is the key to freedom..it is available...i know it SEEMS hoeless but in reality it isnt...check out coda meetings or slaa meetings in your area and get around some good woman and remain teachable...pain is goingto happen but suffering is optional..suffering is the avoidence of pain....we dont have to suffer...we just need to see the different path that will stop this insanity...i did it for 30 years so i feel you..now its time for me to be responsible for me..without me i have nothing..just an empty shell..
good luck and if you want a meeting list i can get you one..
hugs
j

Welcome...If you need to talk take it out in your journal...vent, cry, post. This site is full of loving and caring people. I used to believe I was the only codependent soul out there in this huge world. Now I know I have sisters and brothers in my world to help me face the world that seems to be getting smaller.

yeah ive had a similar relationship to that. its sad but its pretty much set up to fail. u need to get out and start working on yrself and figure out why ur going for these types of guys.

Yeah, I would say the "I'm gonna kill myself if you don't come back" line is enough in and of itself to justify choosing to exit this relationship.

As horribly aweful as it would be if he did actually choose to do this. It would be HIS choice and not something that you should justifiably feel guilty about.

Unhealthy people can only heal and get better when they realize they are unhealthy. You are not capable of taking that burden from them, no matter how hard you may try or how fervently you may wish that you could.

It is impossible to be responsible for another person's suicide. This is a world-class manipulation.

Run Toto... Run

Run Forest... Run

Take good care of youself and those family members that need your help.