Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hi here:
I am new to this group but I am not new to codependency as I learned about it first in 1992 when my younger sister was in the Meadows Treatment facility in Arizona and I went there on family week, and then I first learned about the problems being called Codependency.
As such I have been working aggressively on the issues of Codependency for over 25 years and as such I call myself a "know-it-all" because I do tend to speak in very decisive terms which can seem unfriendly at times when I am just trying to be affirmative.
So hello here.
Thank you for that welcoming.
I like to view my own recovery as going well, but it is never complete and the process goes on forever, and I simply can not get the best recovery by my self.
My family of origin which now includes a bunch of nieces and nephews and a son and my one granddaughter - they each and all will not help in the treatment and of course they are all in denial of everything big or small, and so there is never any family healing, and thereby my own recovery is incomplete and lacking some important aspects of a true recovery.
When I try to reach out to any of them with very simple efforts to connect or to talk then they view me as a threat and as an enemy and that my efforts are trying to cause them trouble - which is not true.
As such I feel very incomplete and isolated and alone.
Of course I do have friends in this world and I love them, but no friend can ever replace or supplement my true family of origin who are lost to me.
Recovery is a daily thing , changing the old programming .
I'm a curious...What is required of your nieces, nephews, son and granddaugher in order to "help in the treatment"?
That is an excellent question, and I hope I can answer it sufficiently.
What I would see as "required" is that we start a simple relationship as kinfolk and relatives and start being a blessing to each other.
The nieces and nephews and son and granddaughter are all old enough (ranging between 13 and 42 years old) to send emails and to share stuff on Facebook and phone calls or video messaging calls and even old fashioned letters, and some of us could visit each other in person like family, but instead no one talks and they fear each other (including unreasonable fear of me) and so we are one big broken family divided and estranged.
I had 11 siblings (counting myself as # 6 of 12) in our dysfunctional abusive family, and all of my siblings reject any part of codependency because they are ashamed to admit that anything is wrong, and they are all in big denials, and so the very word "codependency" is seen as a threat to their life. As such they all taught and passed along their own codependency onto their children / my nieces and nephews, as was done to my son too, and it is obvious to me that they suffer from the consequences, and I do know how to help them if they would only reach out just a little.
In my view it is like a sinking ship (the Titanic) and I rescued myself from the sinking ship but other people (my own family) are still on that ship as it is sinking, and so I can just keep on living in my life-raft and save myself alone, or else I must turn back and try to help save my relatives who are still stuck on that sinking ship.
Since I do and have reached out to each of them - so the only thing required would be for any of them to respond and reach out to me.
Otherwise we (my family) are living with unresolved issues and problems which need to be resolved, and so I myself live with my own unresolved issues in my family which I can not resolve without their involvement.