Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
In the past month my life went from stressed out social worker to self harm and a stay in the psych unit to unemployed, looking for woek, and newly diagnosed as codependent. I struggle to find online support for my case, as it isn't a romantic relationship. I am codependent on my mother, who is the only close person I have in my life. I am having to cut her out of my life a great deal, which leaves me without much support. I am beginning to see little codependent things in my daily life and trying to work on getting passed them.
Opinions on what being a codie is and how deep
It Really runs. I am barely scratching the surface
in my own recovery.
I am a strong believer in 12 step groups and
Therapy. I think alanon and Coda are needed
To reparent and retrain ourselves. Its a very Slow
process and it takes time. Cognitively i Have all
the info i need. It still needs to come out in thoughts,
Feelings, emotions and actions.
There are a lot of good books and Youtube videos
out there. Lisa a romano has lots of Free videos, ross
Rosenberg has some too. Both write books. Darlene
lancer's books are good too.
Melodie beattie books codependent no more and
Language of letting go are two really good Books
to have, both are very alanon like.
There are dr henry cloud's 2 books boundaries and
Safe people that are well read and helpful.
"Shame" stands at the door of every codependent,
Often its carried shame from our upbringing and
Also we act it out often. I acted out from 16-24 then
finally went to therapy and detached from my sick
controlling mother.
I married too soon afterward and did not do enough
healing or growing And i married wrong. All the codie
stuff was still in there Buried deep and playing out in
my life. I have been in alanon and therapy since 2012
My ex was also in AA, it was too late in the game for us.
The old family stuff never seems to go away unless we
Heal it and ourselves. My ex and i come from the same
Stuff dysfunction, abuse, alcoholism, codependency and
Narcissism. No wonder we met and married. He was dry
The whole time but underneath it was all still brewing on
both Sides. HUGS
It's aways sort of a mixed bag when you find yourself in a crisis.
You can't heal what you don't admit. It sounds like you are looking at reality right now. It's sobering, but refreshing.
Today, you can begin again.
You are fighting for you now. You do matter and you are willing to do whatever it takes to get healthy.
I am proud of you. Your past failures are learning material on how not to spin out of control.
Today you can do at least one thing to take care of you. Exercise, reading through recovery material, writing a poem, asking for prayer, attending a support group.
Saying no to someone you always felt obligated to say yes to , but never wanted to.
Speaking up with a calm assertive voice when you are put down.
Chosing healthy food. Taking a shower and brushing your teeth. Dressing in clothes that make you comfortable. Whatever it is, you can choose it and enjoy it.
Today is the beginning, not the end.
So glad you are here!
It sounds like you are on the right track with starting to loosen your mom's hold on your life as well as seeing how much codependency has impacted your daily life. It's terrifying to discover how deep it runs, but that is the only way to healing.
I also found Dr. Cloud's Boundaries to be life-changing. I'm currently reading Brene Brown's Rising Strong which is really good so far as well.
Wishing you all the best on your journey.