Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I'm new this support group. I have a daughter who is 31 and is a substance abuser. She still lives at home and has several medical problems as well. She goes to the emergency room constantly for a headache and then they give her morphine or dilaudid. She will go to different ER's. This has caused serious issues. She has overdosed twice but nothing changed. Today she starts seeing substance abuse therapist.
However that being said the problem I'm having is letting her go. I have tried pleading begging threating etc. She still goes. She waits to we are alone then she approaches me and the fight is on. However she doesn't do this with her father. We took her keys so she wouildnt drive under the influence. But she is soon to get them back,. I have told her if she has narcotics she may not come home for a least a day. I just don't know what else to do. I say I'm going to do something then I don't. I give in. I cannot fix her and this is causing me health issues. When I awake in the morning and she is up I literally get sick to my stomach almost like a panic attack. My oldest daughter will not bring my grandsons over if she has been to the ER.. On Monday she went and I told her I would not pick up till the morning. She called at 10 and asked if I would please come get her,, I said ok. Then after thinking I texted her back and said no I wouldn't be there till the morning.
Does anyone have advice on how I can deal with this.
However that being said the problem I'm having is letting her go. I have tried pleading begging threating etc. She still goes. She waits to we are alone then she approaches me and the fight is on. However she doesn't do this with her father. We took her keys so she wouildnt drive under the influence. But she is soon to get them back,. I have told her if she has narcotics she may not come home for a least a day. I just don't know what else to do. I say I'm going to do something then I don't. I give in. I cannot fix her and this is causing me health issues. When I awake in the morning and she is up I literally get sick to my stomach almost like a panic attack. My oldest daughter will not bring my grandsons over if she has been to the ER.. On Monday she went and I told her I would not pick up till the morning. She called at 10 and asked if I would please come get her,, I said ok. Then after thinking I texted her back and said no I wouldn't be there till the morning.
Does anyone have advice on how I can deal with this.
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1403112361&sr=8-1&keywords=boundaries
I think it would be very useful if you bought another copy for your dougther, of course you first must ask her if she would be willing to read it. This is how you respect her boundaries. It's her choice. And the consequences are hers too. If she is not willing to try to recover that's not your responsibility. This is your boundary.
She'll never get better if you keep helping her to do these behaviors. You cannot give in. You need to set boundaries and maintain them.
Keep it up.
What the heck kind of ER takes her for a headache? And they give her morphine??? What kind of insurance does she have?
Headache? There's this thing called Tylenol...
This gets me very angry to hear this.
I'd not let her back in the house, period. At 31, she needs to get out and be on her own. If that means she falls on her face, so be it. Right now, you are contributing to the problem.