Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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Kr1st1Le1gh 05/03/2018

I am feeling pretty hopeless and helpless and CRAZY! It appears that I have been in an abusive relationship for 20-plus years with a narcissistic spouse only to learn that he simply picked up where my mother left off.... SO NOW WHAT? Just when things start to make sense, they don't make sense. Just when I think that I've connected a dot allowing me to climb up a spot on the ladder, I doubt myself, my ability, my SANITY and I feel like I fall back to where I started with NO WAY OUT! I have NO family support - NONE!! Do you every really figure it out? I don't mean "get out" - I mean is there even a slight chance of knowing what a "normal" relationship is and ever having it. Is there such a thing? I know my glass if half empty but I stay dazed and confused!!

ithoughtiknewmyself 05/03/2018

There is hope for a healthy relationship. Do not let the pain you’re experiencing right now rob you of that hope. I, ironically, only realized that I was codependent because of the incredibly HEALTHY relationship I am in and have now been in for 6 years. It is he healthiest interaction I have ever had with another human, however I still unconsciously sought out friendships with abusive narcissists. The realization of the healthy relationship is what helped me understand that the relationships and friendships I’ve always had were so unhealthy. You will find someone to respect and care for you, but for now you need to focus on forgiving yourself.

lovelyhappy 05/03/2018

Yes, there is an absolute chance of a healthy relationship, 1000000%.
Sadly, it is not an overnight fix but it is definitely possible. In fact, I think that we are on this earth for positivities purposes. Negativity is so pervasive though, and you have many many years of conditioning and negativity that you have to break away from. Just like I did.
Coming from a recovered codependent, the first step was in the realization that I had a problem, the second step was why, and the third step was taking the steps to get to the real me.
The crux of the whole process was IN ME, not in someone else, my significant other or anything/one else. Just me. Without that paradigm shift, of, I HAVE A CHOICE in this; I wouldn't have been able to get where I am.
When you realize it is YOUR CHOICE, then, you take action.
I hope that helps!

Kr1st1Le1gh 05/03/2018

Thank you both for responding -- it's hard to believe how many people this actually touches because it is so isolating! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

ithoughtiknewmyself 05/04/2018

I agree, it’s very isolating because you blame yourself and forget that it is a compulsive and unconscious drive that perpetuates the behavior. But there is hope and forgiving yourself and becoming aware of your cognition is something that not many people do so be proud of yourself today! You are so courageous, confronting yourself and being out of denial is a true sign of strength.

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