Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
i realized tonight that i am really my own worse enemy. the voices start- what if you cant pay your bills, your a mess, you cant even loose weight for you vacation, you left your ex's ping pong table in the rain ( after years of asking him to move it, i moved it to be picked up by the trash collector), your not reading enought and working on yourself, you cant handle anything, you drink to much and still smoke, and on and on. telling myself that i need to stop the negative self talk and have compassion on my self and others.its exhausting and where does it come from? poor self esteem or and family tapes? get sick of it and tell myself to just stop and relax that all is ok and will turn out as it is suppost to and all will be ok.this helps me to address that inner voice.
Sometimes, I am kinder to myself than at other times.
Al-Anon meetings help me a lot with that.
I have a cousin, a lawyer in New York City, and she told me,
"Don't compare yourself to anyone else." You see, my
cousin has a friend with bipolar.
You know, we cannot judge ourselves, just as we cannot judge anyone else. Live and Let Live, sweetheart.
With Love from,
heathercliff
SELF-COMPASSION ENTAILS THREE CORE COMPONENTS. First, it requires self-kindness, that we be gentle and understanding with ourselves rather than harshly critical and judgmental.
Second, it requires recognition of our common humanity, feeling connected with others in the experience of life rather than feeling isolated and alienated by our suffering.
Third, it requires mindfulnessthat we hold our experience in balanced awareness, rather than ignoring our pain or exaggerating it. We must achieve and combine these three essential elements in order to be truly self-compassionate.
For me concentrating on the solution rather than questions resolves lot of issues.
I feel it comes from our critical parents inside our head and it could be dysfunctional people from our pasts, which of course is empowered by our low self esteem.
For me i sympathize self because i am used to being a victim. When i take control or charge of things, victim role is replaced by in control.
Repeat positive things to yourself every day. You're wonderful.
Can I tell you something that helped me? I write lists all the time. I also keep a journal (sporadically though). I wrote just before new year's this year a long list of all the things I wanted to get doing this year. Last week I was writing what a failure I am, how lousy I feel & all this...then I looked back at the new year's list & I couldn't believe it...I have done a LOT of stuff. In fact, the only things not accomplished on my list were get off sugar & lose 12 pounds. So...long story short, keep a list of your goals AND your achievements & check back regularly. The "to do" list is endless, so it's important to keep track of all the wins & successes along the way.
When you can learn to do that, you can will be free. and you will see your true authentic self.
Another thing to look at is Byron Katie's Books. She has something called "The Work".. a series of 4 questions to ask yourself about your thoughts. Its a good technique for taking painful thoughts and asking yourself if they are true and deciding if you should attach to them.
Doing the work on painful people, painful thoughts in our lives can be freeing. I highly recommend it.
Thanks for byron katie "the works" . I downloaded the app...its an awesome thought changing app. Thanks again.
She calls what she practices "The Work". One of her books is called "Loving What Is" & you might like to check it out. If it doesn't resonate with you, don't worry about it, if it does, you might find it really helps.