Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hi people,
I managed to leave my narcissistic ex girlfriend about three months ago. Now I live alone in a flat. I don't meet anyone during the week, apart from my colleagues. They are nice people, aren't really my friends. My friends live far, so I only see them during the weekend.
I keep realising that I'm craving for love and/or attachment and I don't know how to give it to myself.
I meditate, go to the gym, think positively, pay attention to my emotions, go to therapy, have friends, etc. I've read tones of psychological and self help books so I'm doing all that, but don't seem to help much recently.
My confidence has grown a lot, which I like and I'm proud of. Besides, my self esteem hasn't seem to changed. I'm still anxious and angry and I tend to drink and watch porn.
It feels like it all goes back to my most basic need: love. How do I give it to myself so that I don't need to rely on others (at least not this much) to give it to me?
Thank you.
I managed to leave my narcissistic ex girlfriend about three months ago. Now I live alone in a flat. I don't meet anyone during the week, apart from my colleagues. They are nice people, aren't really my friends. My friends live far, so I only see them during the weekend.
I keep realising that I'm craving for love and/or attachment and I don't know how to give it to myself.
I meditate, go to the gym, think positively, pay attention to my emotions, go to therapy, have friends, etc. I've read tones of psychological and self help books so I'm doing all that, but don't seem to help much recently.
My confidence has grown a lot, which I like and I'm proud of. Besides, my self esteem hasn't seem to changed. I'm still anxious and angry and I tend to drink and watch porn.
It feels like it all goes back to my most basic need: love. How do I give it to myself so that I don't need to rely on others (at least not this much) to give it to me?
Thank you.
Also, it's possible to fins love even in work buddies and people you meet in the grocery store. Or so I've heard. I haven't gotten to that place yet myself, but I ordered the book Why am I Afraid to Tell You Who I am by John Powell. Maybe you also (like me) have a hard time opening up?
You could also try meeting new people. Not as a substitute for loving yourself, but as a tool. If you,ve lived with a narcissist chances are you have a somewhat distorted picture of what people are like deep down.
I had serious clingy issues with boyfriends.and then I met one that was able to spend time with himself and enjoy it...
I hated him for that..but what it forced me to do...was learn how to be myself and be ok without 24/7 attention....
I had to LEARN...and it was not fun.
I remember one day calling him and expecting him to drop everything and come wash my car at the carwash...he was like your a big girl...you can wash it by yourself.
I was so sad...didn't want to be by myself...but I did wash the car...and then I grew a little...
I have someone in my life now that sounds much like you....and I feel bad for him...because if I am busy..he doesn't know what to do....or he gets angry....
Your by yourself now..and you will adjust...but it is TIME...and then someday you may end up with a girl....that doesn't know how to be by herself...and you will understand from this experience....you are already learning...you came on here...and found an activity..unrelated to self destruction but to self healing.