Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hello everyone,
Recently I had a break through when I realised other people have problems which are the opposite of what I have but we attract each other because we both have something to gain from being around each other.
Narcissists need to be around people with low self-esteem to feel better about themselves.
I was just on youtube and found this video, its 8 minutes long, please check it out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io15t9V5bXc
It gives a great tip for us codependents to live by. Not just for narcissists but for every moment in our lives.
I realise I have been wrestling with pigs. I have been trying to please people that can not be pleased.
Every argument I ever had with my partner would end up with me desperately trying to please her but she did not want to be pleased, she wanted the negative attention and argument because that is what she had been brought up with. I was just feeding fuel on the fire and killing myself from the inside out. There was nothing I could of done or said to make her feel better about herself. I got sucked in and trapped in a vicious cycle.
I see myself for who I really am and I see others for who they really are.
Do you want to know something funny, I am just about to post this but I am feeling a bit anxious as I did not check how many views or likes the video had on youtube! Oh No! What if people did not like it! Its ok now its going, going, going gone.
Have the best day people. Love you all.
Recently I had a break through when I realised other people have problems which are the opposite of what I have but we attract each other because we both have something to gain from being around each other.
Narcissists need to be around people with low self-esteem to feel better about themselves.
I was just on youtube and found this video, its 8 minutes long, please check it out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io15t9V5bXc
It gives a great tip for us codependents to live by. Not just for narcissists but for every moment in our lives.
I realise I have been wrestling with pigs. I have been trying to please people that can not be pleased.
Every argument I ever had with my partner would end up with me desperately trying to please her but she did not want to be pleased, she wanted the negative attention and argument because that is what she had been brought up with. I was just feeding fuel on the fire and killing myself from the inside out. There was nothing I could of done or said to make her feel better about herself. I got sucked in and trapped in a vicious cycle.
I see myself for who I really am and I see others for who they really are.
Do you want to know something funny, I am just about to post this but I am feeling a bit anxious as I did not check how many views or likes the video had on youtube! Oh No! What if people did not like it! Its ok now its going, going, going gone.
Have the best day people. Love you all.
My "wanna know something funny?" story: My husband and I are both codependents, raised in emotionally unsafe environments. I was a lot like your significant others, where I thought my husband was failing me by not "making me happy" and I knew I was failing him similarly but I thought I was stuck because he couldn't tell me or explain what he needed. After learning about codependency and love addiction/avoidance, we've stopped talking to one another and communicate via text messages (as recommended by our therapists). I've always worked really hard not to manipulate and I have lots of practice not lying. But not talking to my husband and having the opportunity to see my husband's text messages with time to think and reflect before responding has been very insightful. I thought I was the only one that was manipulative, though I didn't understand how I was doing it because I tried so hard not to be that way. But I would never have guessed how manipulative HE is!!! I know he doesn't even realize he's doing it on a conscious level, but it's just shocking to observe and it's taking time to accept that he really is just as bad I was. This video provides great language for what I was sort of starting to do, but not quite - as sometimes my husband's hooks do succeed in making me angry enough to respond. Now I know, I'll practice this observe not absorb technique more fully/consciously and hopefully will feel less anger and resentment to his current actions. I know he's in denial and I know we all come to realize things about ourselves when we're ready but it's hard to witness his denial and inadvertent insults - like his belief that I am "the sick one" when it's both of us. Especially with how he's portrayed me to his family and making things difficult. I'm not sure my relationships with some of them will ever recover. :-( So thank you very much for posting the link to this video. I've bookmarked it. ^_^
Peace.
Once I did that, everything else fell into place.
But I totally get checking the likes for validation of your own opinion. Jacked up, ain't it? I guess we'll always feel that pull... But the key is to post it even if nobody else thought it was good. Who cares about others' strangers, right?