Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Last week I totally flipped out and I almost had to check into the psych unit. I was so overwhelmed!!! It started out with an unexpected charge to my bank account and I went into panic attack because I couldn't pay as much as I hoped to my back rent. I have an eviction court date April 12th, and I flew into a crazy anxiety attack.
Now my BF is living in a sober living hope, and I paid his bills for the first couple of months, so that he would be sent back to jail. He was able to find employment so now he can take care of his bills. So every day I stupidly hope to get a letter from him with some cash ~ foolish me!
I have been trying for weeks to reply to my messages to him. Now the thing is he has my cell phone but, he won't answer a voicemail or a text. Now literarily went crazy, when I couldnt get a hold of him, and I did call the director of his program asking him to have Nate call me. I cant even remember what I said, because I was panicking over the thought of the upcoming court date for my eviction.
I literary went Joan Crawford crazy for days! I was so panicked trying to figure what Im going to do about my back rent, and the thoughts scared me to the point I was scared to drive, because I want to drive 100mph into a brick wall. Thankful y my therapist calmed me down.
This was Nates message to me I think it is crazy you called mikes office talking about all this stuff. Were you trying to upset me? I love you to but these are the things that have caused problems.
I asked him for a phone call I told him hell just lie to me and tell me it will be okay. When I couldnt get in contact with him for a couple of weeks, the stress of my situation sent me over the deep end! I know hes working on getting sober, but does that mean he doesnt have worry about the fact I may get evicted?
It amazed me that I didnt stop and think before I made that call. I know it would piss him off but I could stop myself, I was myself at that moment. I apologized to him, but I dont think Im truly sorry. I wonder if I wasnt having so much trouble finding a sponsor would my actions been different? I talked to a friend that but she doesnt understand the struggles I am going through. I really kind of hope I caused him problems, I dont want to be the only one with problems!
Now my BF is living in a sober living hope, and I paid his bills for the first couple of months, so that he would be sent back to jail. He was able to find employment so now he can take care of his bills. So every day I stupidly hope to get a letter from him with some cash ~ foolish me!
I have been trying for weeks to reply to my messages to him. Now the thing is he has my cell phone but, he won't answer a voicemail or a text. Now literarily went crazy, when I couldnt get a hold of him, and I did call the director of his program asking him to have Nate call me. I cant even remember what I said, because I was panicking over the thought of the upcoming court date for my eviction.
I literary went Joan Crawford crazy for days! I was so panicked trying to figure what Im going to do about my back rent, and the thoughts scared me to the point I was scared to drive, because I want to drive 100mph into a brick wall. Thankful y my therapist calmed me down.
This was Nates message to me I think it is crazy you called mikes office talking about all this stuff. Were you trying to upset me? I love you to but these are the things that have caused problems.
I asked him for a phone call I told him hell just lie to me and tell me it will be okay. When I couldnt get in contact with him for a couple of weeks, the stress of my situation sent me over the deep end! I know hes working on getting sober, but does that mean he doesnt have worry about the fact I may get evicted?
It amazed me that I didnt stop and think before I made that call. I know it would piss him off but I could stop myself, I was myself at that moment. I apologized to him, but I dont think Im truly sorry. I wonder if I wasnt having so much trouble finding a sponsor would my actions been different? I talked to a friend that but she doesnt understand the struggles I am going through. I really kind of hope I caused him problems, I dont want to be the only one with problems!
I'm really sorry you're going through all of this, its sounds awful. Almost takes my breath away when I read about the amount of anxiety you were having....I loathe anxiety...such a bad feeling.
After reading your post, I have to ask you this.....Do you really think Nate can offer you the support you're desperately looking for from him right now? Its sounds as though he's doing what he needs to do to take care of himself and I think there is a reason he's not answering texts or calls. I have no idea what it is, but if the only way you can get his attention is by having a "Joan Crawford" moment and calling the director of his program to get a response, I'm not sure that he's available for you right now.
I believe deep down you already know this. Your comment..."So every day I stupidly hope to get a letter from him with some cash ~ foolish me!" ....speaks volumes.