Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Well it wasn't until about a month ago that I realized I was copdependent. Yes, yet another label...woohoo! I went to my first coda meeting today and it was a positive experience. My intention was to sit there and listen not to speak or interact on my first day. Well that didn't go according to plan and I'm glad.
I verbalized things no one has ever heard coming out of my mouth. It was such a release and it was awesome.
I don't have people in my life who are alcoholics and/or chemically dependent. My codependence stems from me and my self- limiting belief that what I want doesn't count for much unless I can give to others what they need/want. I will sit by the phone waiting on someone else to plan my day instead of making my own plans. Then I get pist off when the phone doesn't ring. I get resentful to those who don't include me.
Well no more! Screw that way of thinking. I now make my own plans and who ever wants to join me then great...if not, see ya later.
Any and all feedback welcomed.
I verbalized things no one has ever heard coming out of my mouth. It was such a release and it was awesome.
I don't have people in my life who are alcoholics and/or chemically dependent. My codependence stems from me and my self- limiting belief that what I want doesn't count for much unless I can give to others what they need/want. I will sit by the phone waiting on someone else to plan my day instead of making my own plans. Then I get pist off when the phone doesn't ring. I get resentful to those who don't include me.
Well no more! Screw that way of thinking. I now make my own plans and who ever wants to join me then great...if not, see ya later.
Any and all feedback welcomed.
I had no addicts or alcoholics to make me codependent either: this happened in my childhood with sober parents.
I still have days where I find it hard to make decisions for myself. I grew up being told and reprimanded if I didn't do what my mother wanted(which later I interpretated to mean what anyone other than myself wanted or needed). As an adult,it's been hard making a decision and sticking with it. I start second guessing my intentions and ability to do what I've set out to do. Part of me is waiting to hear(why didn't you do that instead? or why did you take on something you KNOW you aren't capable of doing?). I guess I've been guilty for doing that to myself-taking over where others left off.
They say life is a journey. I keep reiterating in my mind that when I'm laying on my deathbed,what type of life will I want to look back at? What type of person would I want to have been?
If you ever find yourself reeling back into your previous mind set of waiting on others,set up a mechanism like "I'll just go for a walk while I'm waiting for that call back". One you'll get fresh air,two you won't be there if they DO call(so you won't be giving in to "doing for other"). Eventually people will stop calling on you so much,and you'll feel a certain freedom from it all:-p
You're definitely a strong woman! What you expressed at the meeting is not abnormal,it's YOUR words that you've resisted in expressing for so many years.
I've told my husband many times that when I was really little,I was very outgoing and ready to battle the world. As I got older,I started being what others expected of me. I started becoming an internal person instead of external. Now I'm working on becoming the person I've always been that others insisted I not be. I am using unusual methods to bring me out of my shell,and surprisingly it's working! If I told you,you'd probably laugh(again I'm worrying what others will think)...for me to know,and you wonder! LOL
Hugs,
I went to my first CoDa meeting today!! And I almost didn't go! I stood outside the place for like 10 minutes, I almost left. But then I thought about you guys and what you would say (that I should go if I want to get better) and I did! It was great. No miracles or anything, but I left feeling like this was the beginning of things getting better.
Thanks guys!!
I have been attending meetings for about 3 months now, and the positive energy I get from them is like nothing else. My problem now is, the meetings I go to, no one is able to sponsor, so I dont know where else to turn to to find one. Good luck with your meetings, and remember ,, Keep coming back, it works if you work it.