Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Most of us struggle with thoughts and feelings of our significant other on and off or may be everyday while either going NO CONTACT or just forced to be away from them or for that matter just part of recovery mean to focus on yourself.
Did you know there is no much difference between a codependents thinking and an addicts thinking?
An addict chooses his drug of his choice ( alcohol, workaholic, drugs) and a codependent their relationships. In both cases both are thinking through Lymbic brain system where emotions are involved. The only difference between a codependent and an addict is an addict seeks pleasure from his addiction where dopa-mine is released and codependent is always releasing adrenaline for fight/flight and freeze response.
Here is one statement that might help - Every time you have a thought of your significant other say to yourself this is a DIS-EASE and in order for you to be healthy you need to focus and work on yourself.
Good luck with your recovery.
Did you know there is no much difference between a codependents thinking and an addicts thinking?
An addict chooses his drug of his choice ( alcohol, workaholic, drugs) and a codependent their relationships. In both cases both are thinking through Lymbic brain system where emotions are involved. The only difference between a codependent and an addict is an addict seeks pleasure from his addiction where dopa-mine is released and codependent is always releasing adrenaline for fight/flight and freeze response.
Here is one statement that might help - Every time you have a thought of your significant other say to yourself this is a DIS-EASE and in order for you to be healthy you need to focus and work on yourself.
Good luck with your recovery.
I read somewhere - maybe codependent no more - that it was discovered that codependents actually have a harder time than addicts ... that would tie in with what you said about the adrenaline. We never get the high so we keep on pushing through ....
I heard someone describe codependency once as being an 'others-focused' mindset and that has stayed with me. We focus on others instead of ourselves. There is no balance. I have spent my life being so focused on what everyone is doing or thinking or believing and I have been so focused on how to fix them or change them or be better for them, or on how I can make life better for them, how I can get them to think better of me or treat me better... It has been such a relief to finally realise that I CANNOT fix or change anyone but me! I am NOT responsible for anyone but me. I can't make anyone else's life better- that is their job. Awesome, it actually takes a bucket-load of pressure off my shoulders :) And if I focus even half of the thought and energy on myself as I used to direct towards everyone else then what a difference that can make to me and my life!
I have had a few more breakthroughs lately and I do believe that this 'bringing the focus back to me' is the one that started it all for me! Best wishes to you all :)