Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
So i went to his house yesterday. I was upset because i am fairly certain i want out of the relationship but am not sure how. This guy called who used to beat his gf that is my boyfriend's "friend." Though my bf tells me he hates him he treats this kid like his best buddy. He of course is acting all buddy buddy with him so i got upset. This kid tried to ruin my life a few months back when i confronted him with what he did to his gf. All i ask is the person i have done so much for not be cool with a guy like that. He tells me he isnt but idk why he would call and they would chat like best friends. So i got mad and so began a 3 hour screaming match...that resulted in me crying and hysterical. He told me i bore him, i regulate him and then he fought wine and got hammered... after that the fighting subsided but not the negative feelings i have. Its just more of the same.
Those in enmeshed relationships are often the last to see it. But with awareness you can start to recognize some of the signs: 1. If you cannot not tell the difference between your own emotions and those of a person with whom you have a relationship. 2. If you feel like you need to rescue someone from their emotions. 3. If you feel like you need someone else to rescue you from your own emotions. 4. If you and another person do not have any personal emotional time and space.
What's the right relational balance ?
A good relational balance involves family members recognizing that they have different emotions and can make independent decisions, while also recognizing that their decisions affect others. In these relationships a parent can see that their daughter is upset and anxious and can even empathize with her, but this does not get the parent into an aroused emotional state in which they feel like they have to fix the emotion (or that which caused the emotion) of their daughter. They empathize and show nurturing concern for their daughter but allow her the emotional space to solve her own problems with their support.