Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I've been having a lot of difficult uncomfortable emotions lately and situations that have been everyday situations in the past are beginning to make me uneasy... my sister, who was given a lot more than I growing up lives in a big house, has three beautiful healthy kids, expensive things, basically the "perfect" life. I'm on the verge of poverty. She was given a college education my parents couldn't afford for me, so now I still don't have a degree, swimming in student loan debts, shitty job with no benefits... I just see no way out. I nanny for a few families on the side for extra money in the wealthy neighborhood my sister lives in and lately I've noticed my tolerance for the kids just being kids, talking back, loud, bossy, etc has made me on edge. I don't know if its a combination of numerous current stressors including a boyfriend I barely see anymore, or a job were I feel like my best doesn't matter, but the fact these kids are given everything they want and still cry or complain or have the nerve to talk back to me really ticks me off. I am at my most emotional time of the month, and have a ton going on but now I don't even want to nanny because I'm afraid I'm taking out repressed childhood anger out on these spoiled kids. And my crappy boyfriend is out with his brother and random friend drinking while I'm home alone again after Long day at work watching movie and writing this. Depressing. I feel like I'm missing something without him, mainly at night. I'm so stupid for thinking once I go t my own place he would miss me and want to be with me more, its been the opposite actually. I can't so crying.
It sounds like you might be ready to make a change in your path. If you have student loans, then you did take some college-level classes. Have you considered going back to get your degree?
Comparing ourselves to others is a very self-defeating exercise, in my experience. It really just drags us down and puts our focus on others instead of on ourselves. What do you really want to do? What do you love doing?
Once you know the direction that you want to take, go talk to someone about it who can help you with information about financial, etc. Often the Department of Labor in your state is an excellent resource. You could try calling them to see if they have job counselors or people to advise you. I was able to get quite a bit of help when I was changing careers through their resources.
But no one will do this for you. It is on your shoulders to figure out what direction you want to move in and to take the steps to get there. There is always a way if you set your heart on improving and work at it. It is not easy, but it is doable.
You can message me, if you would like. I would be happy to offer information that I have and to help you get started.
Hugs,
Shar
Wow, you are going through a lot. I completely understand because I am navigating through those same waters. It is very difficult. Sharmlynn makes some very suggestions. Going back to school, seeking the advice of career counselors and ect. Are you in current psychological counseling? Is that an option for you? I would suggest it, only because it has been a help to me.
Don't feel stupid for thinking that once you got your own place , he would want to be around you more. We as codependents often think we can control. how the other person feels or their actions It's a liberating feeling with you realize, NOTHING you can do or say will make this person want you. Nothing you can say or do will make this person want to be around and love you. If he truly wanted to then he would be there with you, holding you like you deserve.
I wish you the best of luck and keep us updated