It's code. That person you imagine is no longer there and the person there is the one who you don't want to be around. Start doing things for you in your own life and get past him. He's out of your life for a reason.

He made a choice to drink and live his life as he did. It's now your choice whether you're going to move on or hang around waiting for hiim to stop being the person you don't like.

I am also in the process of grieving over a recent break up that took place a few weeks ago. The guy dumped me and we weren't dating for long when he said that he was simply too busy to be my boyfriend. I was devastated, especially since it occurred on the holiday, a time of happiness. I wondered why I would have such strong feelings of guilt and remorse when I had done nothing wrong, and I wondered why I obsessed over the idea of getting back together.

The guy was no good for me. I'm a good person, never got in trouble with the law. This guy was a recovering opiate addict and had a lot of family issues, like to the severe extent, as well as personal mental issues perhaps too, and knowing most of this going in...I still felt myself in love with the idea of being with him...and then I talked to a professional who helped me come to the realization that I desperately want to be "Captain Save A Ho" in order to feel needed and important....totally unhealthy and self-defeating. :(

Break ups happen for a reason and its best to cut the cord and dont ever turn back. painful but true :/

I'm sorry that you're going through all this.If you can keep healthy boundaries and keep your expectations in check, why would it be wrong if she did visit? I have had feeling that my loved ones may not be around for long.I had not liked some of the ways they were or had treated me in the past.But (relatives) when I found out they may be leaving, I tried to spend time with them and show that I cared and am glad I did.Some were harder to be around than others and I didnt go see them much.But when I saw them on life support or"after" they passed, I felt regret.Be cause I knew I'd cared for them and felt that we all fall so short.There is none perfect.I dont want to confuse anything.This was my experience with several of my family.I still love them even though they have the disease of addiction.And it is the disease talking alot of the time.I dont know if this is helpful or not.But its my own experiences.

Sassy, you have come so far in the past year. Why do you want to sabotage that? You know he's not the person you feel in love with. You gave him a long time to change, and he didn't. He's chosen is addiction and bad behavior over a relationship with you. It's time for you to choose yourself instead of a dysfunctional relationship. I think it may have a lot to do with the season. You miss the familiar at this time of year. But remember that the familiar was bad. It hurt you. Don't hurt yourself anymore. You are completely in control of your life, so make it a good one!