Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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stefanie68 01/18/2010

I have a wonderful ability to make things all about me. For example, if someone comes to work mad or if my partner or friends are mad, I automatically think its something to do with me. What an ego I have. I have just recently realized this and I would like some advice on how or what I can do to change this. I know the world doesn't revolve around me. Why do I project this onto myself? As if I don't have enough crap to deal with! I don't need or want other peoples crap too. HELP!

Books are also a welcomed suggestion or technique or whatever.

Stefanie

deleted_user 01/18/2010

I also think that it's me doing something wrong when my partner is upset about something. I don't know why i feel this and would also love to get help It's just getting started thats the hardest !

HealingGrace 01/19/2010

I've read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, he talks about the ego and the pain body - the body of past emotional pain we carry around and talks about rising above it, becoming conscious. It's an interesting book. When I read it, I feel less crazy, because I realize the things I deal with with my ego aren't that uncommon.

A 12 step recovery group like coda or alanon can help with codependency. Cognitive therapy can be useful. Just know that you're not alone in having problems with the ego.

deleted_user 01/19/2010

I found working a 12-step program in Al-Anon and coDA helped me find the balance between "all about me" and "all about you". A healthy way of loving myself that allows me to love you in a healthy way.

deleted_user 01/19/2010

I believe that happens in particular when you were always blamed for things in your childhood/adulthood or asked to be the one to find the answer for others' problems. You were conditioned that way and the imbalance it has brought in you has caused the ego to become much bigger than it should be. So now you get to fix that in you, but doing so always without blame, but recognition as to where the problem came from is always best. Good luck.

deleted_user 01/19/2010

http://www.internet-of-the-mind.com/cause-low-self-esteem.html
I think that may help you begin figure out why you started behaving in this manner. It goes more in to depth about the kind of concept HealingGrace mentioned, only it uses an iceburg for its representation of how childhood issues get buried beneath the ego and stored in the id (i.e. subconscience) until they surface in behaviors closer to the ego such as addiction and codependency.

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